I’ll be honest, when people talk about double standards, they’re usually bad. In fact, pretty much always bad. It’s not fair for society to expect one thing of one person, but then when someone else fulfills the same ideals, criticize them for it. But I realized something the other day—double standards aren’t always bad.
We’ve talked about kindness before on this site. You can find that post here, if you’re interested. In it, I talked about how important kindness is, how much we really need it in this world, and how to go about living our lives in a kind way. But one thing was entirely left out of the equation. What about being kind…to yourself? That’s what we’re going to talk about today.
I’ve written a lot about different topics over the years on this site. Most of them have transformed my life in one way or another, and that is why I share them. (And why I consider them worth sharing to begin with.) But there are some topics that I know in my heart that I want to address, but hold off on. I know I’m not an expert, on anything really. But if I’m going to write a post on a topic, it has to be something that I’ve at least made some headway on, and if it’s a technique, then it has to be something that I’ve seen help or work, at least on someone if not myself.
All this to say that I’ve been waiting on this idea of believing in yourself to become a post on The Thoughts that Bind. Until recently, I really hadn’t thought it over much, how I see it affecting myself and the people that I know in my daily life. And I had very few ideas as to how to combat having a lack of personal confidence. I’ve learned how to practice loving myself. How to challenge my initial self-hatred. But believing in myself? Well, that’s a whole new step. But due to some recent realizations, I’m breaking that silence about the topic now.
I want you to sit down for a moment. Now, take a deep breath and remember a time when you felt truly at peace, happy, or excited. You can even close your eyes if you want. Really get into the memory. What were you seeing? Feeling? What about who you were with? Was it hot outside? Try to work up a really vivid memory. And once you have open your eyes.
We’ve been tiptoeing around the subject long enough on this website. It’s time to finally talk about journaling! Is journaling worth it? Is it silly? And what can it do for you? Let’s go!
So, I’m a chronic over-thinker. I plan until I’m blue in the face, psyching myself out until I don’t even want to take action anymore. Even when I know I need to. Sometimes it works, giving me extra perspective and time to work out how I feel about things. But sometimes (often enough) it doesn’t. And that’s what I want to talk to you about today.
In life, nothing is truly certain. Do these words fill you with dread and contempt? I know in the past, they have for me. The problem is, they’re just factually correct. As much as you can work hard and prepare for so many things in life, when you get down to it, nothing is truly a given. And that’s what I want to talk to you about today.
A while back, I wrote about a post entitled “I’m embarrassed about my past (dealing with shame and guilt)”. And if you haven’t read that one, or don’t remember it, I suggest you check it out because it’s a good one. (You can find it here.) But I wanted to pick up from there today, because after that, you may still be wondering, “Okay, but why is it I feel so ashamed?” And that is a really good point.
Maybe you were hurt by someone a while ago. Or you fell in love and it was never reciprocated. Or you had this dream for so long but you just can’t make it work. We’re talking about it today–letting go. It’s a heavy, but important topic that we don’t talk about often enough.
So recently, we talked about our personal identity. How we pick it up, and how to dismantle the inauthentic parts of ourselves. (If you didn’t read that one, you can find it here.) But once you’ve become aware of the parts of yourself that don’t feel authentic and let them go, how do you discover who you really are, and build up your identity? And so we’re picking the subject back up today. Here’s how to start discovering yourself.