I saw it said online that “the younger generation doesn’t believe that they owe anyone anything, but that’s not true. You owe respect to others, you owe it to others to tell the truth. You owe it to others basically, to be an upright person.”
How I see it is nobody owes each other anything. But there are prerequisites to building something, including even a simple friendship. Heck, you don’t “owe” it to anyone to be a decent person, but there will be consequences if you’re not. You won’t have people supporting you after a while, because that’s simple risk assessment. If you’re a liar, eventually people will stop believing you.
All of us, together
As far as society goes, every society is broken in one way or another. But it’s also true that the scale tips one drop in the bucket at a time. None and all of us can take responsibility for the way society is. But in life, it is important to try not to add to the things you think are wrong.
Not to mention, we teach people how to treat us. We set boundaries, yes. But also, by our actions, we set the standards. Your boundaries may be all correct, but if you don’t behave in a respectful, healthy, kind way yourself, the people who would be willing to give you what you need will go elsewhere for friendship and companionship.
A growing vocabulary, but shrinking grasp on precision of language
I think my generation has made strides in many areas, like going to therapy and destigmatizing mental illness. But I also think that we’ve lost our discernment for when certain therapeutic concepts apply. You’ve got people talking about “red flags” when they really mean pet peeves, and “narcissists” when they really just had an argument with someone. You’ve got people who talk about boundaries and going no contact when things simply get a bit uncomfortable.
I love that my generation works so hard for the advocacy of others. I love that we so badly want for things to be right and fair. But at some point we got into the habit of horriblizing others and relationships, and using therapy speak against each other.
As someone who has gone to therapy, I’ve learned that the concepts learned in it are best used on your own. It’s true, concepts can be applicable to others. But that doesn’t mean you should label others and push these ideas on them. Whatever they are going through is their reality, and what you are going through is yours. If the concepts are helping you work through your life in useful ways, then use them. But don’t make it the responsibility of others to line up with your newfound wisdom. Because your wisdom is for you. (And, once in a blue moon, for someone who is ready to receive it.)
The great Gen Z task
I think, like any generation, Gen Z is trying. Trying to be adults, trying to be good people, even though none of that comes with a manual. (If it did, they would have found it online by now, right?) They’ve seen their parents all boxed in by society, or all whacked out due to mental illness or addiction. They want to do better. But, just like every generation before it, they don’t quite know how. Like many generations before, they’ve been raised for a world that doesn’t exist, and it’s all very confusing.
I personally think that Gen Z is starting to realize how socially stunted they are (and have been) due to this chronically online world, and to be honest, lack of socialization from when they were very young. And I think they’ve started to see the ways in which this has negatively impacted both their mental health and their perception of the world around them. What I don’t think has been cracked yet is the solution.
We didn’t start the fire
Sure, it’s easy to say “just get off your phones”, and that would help stop the compounding of the issue, but do you treat a phone addiction? How do you make up for the damages that being more online than in the real world during the formative years has done to the brain? How do you learn the social skills as an adult that you were supposed to have been taught as second nature? And how do you incorporate technology, a growing and necessary tool in today’s world, both effectively and healthfully?
To tell you the truth, Gen Z, like every generation before them has their own uphill battle to fight in society. And I desperately hope we succeed.
