Hello and welcome to the Thoughts that Bind! And if you’re returning, welcome back! Thank you for tuning into our topic today, as it’s an incredibly individual and important one. I wanted to talk to you all about happiness, and how to finally be happy in your life, which is something we all could use a refresher course on.
My Story
If you have been following the Thoughts that Bind for a while, you probably already know my story in broad strokes. But for those of you who are new or are unfamiliar with who I am, let me run through it for you real quick. I used to be a pretty unhappy person. No, let’s be more specific. I was miserable. I constantly struggled with the idea of “being happy” in life. I just couldn’t possibly think of life as a good thing, much less beautiful or a celebration or anything like that. I cried myself to sleep, I developed terrible coping mechanisms that made things even worse, and I moved forward in this depressed, hopeless cloud.
Luckily, since then I have grown to be a far happier person. I enjoy my life and myself, as well as the people around me and activities I stumble upon. For the most part, anyway. And some of that was just luck and timing, I think. Growing up is hard for everyone—a mix of hormones and uncertainty about the future. Not to mention the fact that once you’re an adult, you finally get to make your own decisions about who you are and what kind of life you want to live. That all made a big difference for me. I also learned some coping skills in therapy for when I was feeling down and struggling in life. And all of a sudden, my life was much better in a fairly short amount of time. Finally, I felt stable, like I had broken through. And I decided to make this site, for those that were struggling and could benefit from what I had learned both through therapy and trial and error.
That being said, nothing is perfect and nothing lasts forever. I am human and definitely don’t know everything, and in the years since, I’ve had my own fair share of life’s trials and tribulations. It’s pretty normal. I also would say that my own predisposition is towards a more pessimistic view of life. Which is fine, if I manage it. I can keep my own negativity at bay and fall around neutrality and “realism” on my worse days, usually.
However, due to all of this, I decided to dive back into looking for happiness. Or, as our old slogan used to read, “in pursuit of a better life”, once again. I wanted to know how I could personally affect my own happiness. I realized that just because I wasn’t actively drowning didn’t mean I was “happy”. And if there were things that I could do to manage my happiness level, then regardless of how good or bad my life was, I should be trying to maintain them.
So if you could be happier right now (and let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to be happier?), give these pointers a read. It’s what I’ve learned through therapy, the books and studies I’ve read, and also just what I’ve found to be true for myself and the people around me. Here’s how we get happy.
Keep it simple
I just want to say before we start that there’s a lot here in this post today. And while that’s good because it gives us a lot of options to try and experiment with, it can be overwhelming. Especially for the people who need this information the most. I’ve been learning new things about this subject for years, not to mention reading I’ve done for the blog and specifically for this post.
So if at any point during this you start feeling overwhelmed or thinking to yourself “there’s no way I could do that”, then don’t! It’s seriously okay to just take a breath and skip to the next point if you don’t think you could swing something. Don’t worry about it and just move on. Unfortunately, I don’t know the root cause of your unhappiness, so I can’t put these in order of their personal helpfulness or accessibility to you. But I will say that if you try just a few of the things we talk about today, you’ll probably see improvements in your mood in not too long.
So ignore the things you wouldn’t or can’t do and focus on the things you can. At least for now. You can come back and look at the other ones later when they seem more interesting and not so out of reach. I know that I had to do the same. Let’s get started!
Physical
Number one, get healthy. I feel like this is a bit of a loaded one because of all that we hear about health these days. So let me be clear. Being healthy is not about being perfect or being better than anyone else. In my opinion, your health journey is just about doing what you can do to affect change in your own life. Making strides where you can right now, taking the next step.
You’re not going to be “perfectly healthy” and if you do have a chronic mental or physical health condition, that doesn’t mean you’re failing at this or have some excuse to ignore it. Do what you can to be healthy, and you will be as healthy as you’re able. Plain and simple. I’ve written some areas to take a look at that I’ve found have a pretty big effect on my own happiness, and you might be able to relate. If you have a complicated situation with one, remember, just do your best!
Eat vegetables and fruits
I’ve noticed myself that when I’m getting fruits and vegetables in my diet, I physically feel better. I feel more vibrant and alive. Like my body is running more smoothly than before.
This makes sense when you think about it. Our bodies need vitamins and minerals. And when you give them those things, it’s like you’re finally giving them the fuel they need to carry out all of their tasks. While you can live your life without these micronutrients, your body won’t last as long and you won’t feel as good trying to do it. That’s just the plain and simple truth.
I personally recommend vegetables over fruits if possible. Both are good for you, but I find that vegetables are both cheaper and tend to make me feel even better when I eat them. But fruits are usually tastier, especially if you’re not too accomplished of a cook. And if you can get both, even better!
Take certain vitamins
And speaking of vitamins, it’s been shown that making sure you’re topped up on specific vitamins by supplementing can help improve your mental health too.
Most of us have heard that low vitamin D is linked to seasonal depression and sometimes depression in general. And if you don’t get a lot of sun or if you’re living in a place where you have really short days in one part of the year, it’s a good idea to supplement with vitamin D to make sure you keep your balance.
Another thing to keep in mind are B vitamins. Supplementing B complex vitamins can help with brain function and makes you more resilient to stressors. But we’ve seen that it also can help with mood. But other than B and D vitamins, there are perhaps lesser known ones that can help too. (Looking into these is probably best done with doctor’s supervision.)
Calcium is one, with your intake split up into two parts (one in the morning, one at night). You may also look into Magnesium with Calcium—one that has two parts Calcium, one part Magnesium. Other minerals include Chromium (200-300mcg), 15 parts Zinc (up to 30mg a day) to one part Copper (1-2mg a day) and Manganese (5mg a day). Obviously, any of these vitamins are going to be contingent on what you are lacking in your body, and you’ll want to get a blood test and a doctor’s opinion on them.
A few other supplements that you may look into that are not quite of the vitamin and mineral variety but may be helpful are as follows (and again, you definitely want to get a doctor to put in their two cents before you start on them): St. John’s Wort, 5HTP, Ashwaganda and Melatonin. While you may be able to find these over the counter in some places, they each have their own purpose and dosages that your doctor should be aware you’re taking as well as able to give you important information on their efficacy and safety, as well as possible side effects, as they each do have possible side effects, safe doses, and restrictions on who should use them as well as an amount of time that you may take them for.
Eat complex carbs
A lot of us might think we should be avoiding carbs for our health, but we would be wrong. Well, somewhat. It is true that a diet high in simple carbohydrates isn’t good for you, it’s been known to add to your waistline and cause mood swings and crashes once the sugar in your system drops. But complex carbohydrates are a different story, luckily.
Now when we’re talking about complex carbohydrates you might be thinking “oh, wheat bread versus white bread, sure.” And yes, broad strokes that’s it. But a lot of “wheat bread” products are pretty much just white bread with like, one extra gram of fiber. That’s better, but not good.
Complex carbohydrates is more about whole grains, along with legumes and some other starchy vegetables. So think oats, popcorn, chickpeas, multigrain bread, sweet potatoes, that sort of thing. Now excitingly, having a diet rich in these foods has been shown to boost your mood. So we don’t need to be scared of carbs. We just need to prioritize the right kind. Barley over white rice. Fruit over candy. Any moves you can make to switch your simple carb to complex carbs will help your mood. And if you’re someone who consistently avoids carbohydrates due to dieting reasons, try adding them back in again, for the sake of your own happiness!
Get enough healthy fats
So now we will talk about the other side of the coin. Usually diets will cut out one macronutrient group if they’re not a calories based program. So there are a lot of low fat dieters out there as well. Guess what? Both your body and your brain need healthy fats to run optimally. They need them. Once again, it’s a matter of getting the right kind of fats.
Deep fried foods are not going to get you better mental health. So the fried chicken, potato chips? Not going to help us here. And neither is mountains of gooey cheese. No, instead what you’re looking for is omega 3 and unsaturated fats.
You can find these in avocados, nuts and seeds. If you’re a meat eater, you may want to look into fish or fish oil supplements. If not, flaxseed oil supplements have ALAs which convert to omega 3’s in your body, and if you’re not a supplement person, you can buy ground flaxseed which absorbs better than whole roasted flaxseed. I like to add it to oatmeal, granola or smoothies in the morning.
Drink Water
All this talk about giving our bodies what they need to synthesize the energy and happiness they otherwise would seems exhaustive, but we haven’t even talked about hydration! Now I’ve written about drinking water before on this site, which you can find here. But broad stokes, here’s what you want to know.
Your body is made up of water. It’s in your tears, your saliva, your blood. It’s everywhere and you need to replace it somehow to stay alive. A lot of people are walking around dehydrated most of the time, and if you’ve never been properly hydrated, you probably don’t even realize how good it feels. Or, to be more specific, how bad dehydration feels. Because if that’s your norm, how are you supposed to know?
You can climb out of this rut though, if you have consistent access to safe drinking water. Some people have success starting out with the guideline “eight glasses a day” of water. If you have one when you wake up, one an hour or two before bed and one at each meal, that’s five of your eight glasses right there.
Others prefer a more unstructured approach. For these people, simply keeping a water bottle with them throughout the day and getting some water whenever they feel thirsty is good enough. The point is to get yourself and your body used to drinking water.
Now I know not everybody likes the taste of drinking water. This doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be perpetually dehydrated. You’re just going to have to be a little more creative, that’s all. Some people have success by adding flavorings to their water, or fruits like lemon, berries or cucumbers. Others get their water in other ways.
You can get water by upping the water content of the food you eat. For example, raw fruits and vegetables generally have a higher water content than other foods like bread, etc. And you can start eating soups which are like another beverage as far as the water content goes. And you can also drink other beverages such as fruit juice if you still need more water. Just be careful that the beverages you’re choosing aren’t also diuretics like coffee, or else you end up with a net zero.
Get Sleep
Sufficient sleep is incredibly underrated in our society these days. We think we always have to be going, producing. But your body needs rest so that it can repair itself, and so that you can repair yourself mentally and emotionally. (You can find my post about rest here.)
Insufficient sleep has been shown to be linked to health problems such as diabetes, mental health disorders and cardiovascular disease, according to the sleep foundation. (https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-deprivation) So long story short, you’re going to want to get enough sleep. Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep, while teens and children may need more.
However, there is the other side to this as well. You don’t want to be over-sleeping either. If you’re consistently getting more than ten hours of sleep a night and find yourself still feeling exhausted, you should see a doctor. Oversleeping has also been linked to health problems and early mortality. While your body needs enough sleep, too much of a good thing is a sign of a problem.
Exercise
And now that pesky thing that people always say but we never want to hear. Yes, that’s right. Your body needs exercise. Exercising makes you more resilient to the stressors of the day as well. It makes you physically stronger and healthier, and it also gives you endorphins which help with your mood.
However, for me I find that probably the best part of exercise is a side benefit of increased mindfulness. When you’re exercising, you have to stay aware of what your body is doing. This helps keep the unruly thoughts at bay. And during the rest of the day, you feel better in your body. Less stiff and achy and instead, more relaxed. It’s no surprise that exercising on a regular basis helps your mood.
Don’t be Silly
Now, I could’ve named this segment any number of other things, and perhaps I should’ve, but this is how I monitor it in my brain. So for authenticity’s sake, I decided to keep it. What I mean by don’t be silly is this: you probably know you have some vices. You could probably name them if you sat down and were honest with yourself for a minute. So here’s my advice, do that. Be honest with yourself. Notice when you’re leaning on something in an unhealthy way. And do something about it!
Now, this applies to addictions. Right? It’s easier said than done, but if you have an addiction, that sort of thing really does crush your chances at happiness. Your brain is captive to these impulses all the time, and it really doesn’t have the time or energy to focus on your fulfillment or happiness. But even if you’re not addicted to something, it’s still important to maintain honesty and awareness about the vices you’re leaning on and try not to.
It’s very common to cope with or avoid your feelings by burying yourself in stimulating behaviors—be they food, sex, shopping, partying, or even substances. But if you’re finding yourself in a pattern of doing this, it’s time to take a good look at yourself and turn the other direction. Find out what it is you’re trying to cope with or ignore and confront it, or at least make efforts to try to cope in a more healthy way. You can’t always fix all your life problems, but stifling them will always make things worse in the long run.
Mental
I think one of the biggest tasks I had to face in terms of commandeering my own happiness was becoming more of an optimist. Now, it’s not necessarily about clearing your head of negativity (although you may try that), but in my opinion it’s more about adding in the positive and correcting the negative that also happens to be untrue or incomplete.
It’s a path that may seem tiring and difficult at times, but it’s all about trying your best and making progress. While you could do this by simply hyperfocusing on your decision to try to be more positive and look on the bright side of things, there are other ways of coming into a more sunny disposition. Here are some strategies.
Practice Gratitude
No, gratitude is not a cliché. When you wake up in the morning, your brain is usually fresh. (That is, of course, if you’re not coming off of a vivid dream.) And one of the best ways to start of the day is by contemplating what you’re grateful for. This helps sets the tone for gratitude the rest of the day, which is even better.
When we focus on the things that are going right in our lives that we appreciate, we have less brain space to complain and stress, it’s as simple as that. We are less likely to feel that life has given us the short end of the stick, and more likely to be generous with others (which, as we’ll discuss later, has also been shown to boost our levels of happiness.) As long as we’re looking at gratitude from a genuine place and not a way of guilting ourselves to “see how fortunate we are”, its power is impressive. To hear how I began my journey with gratitude and get an idea how to begin yours, read this post.
Try Affirmations
I used to think that affirmations were just silly delusions, but when I actually tried them out I found I was wrong. Really, they’re actually very simple. Sometimes we only believe things because we’re used to telling ourselves a specific story. And what we believe about life and about ourselves truly is the governing force behind our progress and direction.
Affirmations get us practicing telling ourselves a new story. That’s really all. And when you’re someone who has an incredibly negative internal dialogue, it helps immensely to start a better pattern.
To start with affirmations, I recommend the work of Louise Hay, or, if you’re looking for a more religious perspective on the subject, Florence Scovel Shinn. But if you want to go it alone, simply start correcting yourself with the thoughts that you want to be thinking. Try it in front of a mirror or singing them. Or just say them to yourself over and over again. What you think will become what you believe, and at some point, who you are.
Start Meditating
I think meditating is sort of a double edged sword. At first, people may have trouble with it because it’s difficult simply sitting and doing nothing. It can be uncomfortable having no barrier between you and your thoughts and feelings. And it makes you more aware of what’s going on inside of you. So for this reason beginners often conclude that meditation just isn’t for them. “It may make other people feel more peaceful,” they say, “but it made me feel worse.”
Well if you keep on going, just after this point is when it start to get good. As your emotions and discomfort peak and you still focus on your breath or body or the white noise, it starts to quiet down a little bit. And then a lot. And then, with continued practice, it starts to spill over into all of your affairs. The things that used to be disasters are only inconveniences. And the inconveniences don’t really even register. You feel calm and like the whirlwind of your thoughts and feelings has just slowed down for you.
While mediating won’t make you happy, I find that continued mediation as a habit can take away a lot of anxiety, stress and anger. So for that reason, it’s definitely worth mentioning on a post about happiness. If you’re looking for ways to start meditating as a beginner, read this post.
Consider your posture
Funny enough, a simple thing such as posture has been shown to have an affect on our moods and mental states. Normally we think about it in the reverse—we read people’s body language to see what they are feeling. But if we decide to change our body language consciously, we often find that our emotional states start to follow.
For example, as silly as it may sound, just smiling on purpose has been shown to make you feel a little better. No, of course it doesn’t fix your problems. But the fad of power poses has a bit of truth behind it. Your body uses your posture and facial expressions as just that, an expression. And changing them to a perhaps more desirable pose can help boost your mood in a pinch.
Look for the silver lining
In any situation you can learn to be more at peace with it when you find the good in it. Look for the lessons you can learn and move forward with them as firmly as possible. It’s not so much about seeing the good that’s there—although that’s a good thing too—it’s about what good you can make from it that counts.
There is no right or wrong
In this life there is objective right or wrong. This means that your feeling and needs aren’t either. And neither are those of others.
Accepting the idea that everyone has their own truth is difficult. Frustrating. Your inner voices are bound to scream at you. The “shoulds” will pile up on top of each other until you feel like you’re suffocating…and then once you’ve got it, you’re free.
Because realizing that everyone is truly allowed to feel what they feel, want what they want and need what they need means you are too. Understanding that your feelings and dreams and desires aren’t wrong is paramount in beginning to understand your life better, and from there, taking responsibility for it. This improvement feels better automatically, and it’s why I’ve grouped it with the other positive thinking ideas. However the dividends are a lot more long-term.
Focus on forward
If I may be frank with you for a moment, you’re not going to change your past. You’re just not. The worst things that have ever happened to you are always going to be there and you will always have to know and remember that.
And if you choose, you will always have that to torture yourself with. But stop doing that! It’s such a cliche, but don’t let your past ruin the days you have in front of you. It will if you let it. But that past, no matter how horrific, isn’t happening right now. If you want to hear more about how to let stuff go, read this post. But what I really want you to hear is for goodness sake, let yourself be happy and new in your present and future. Let that old stuff go back to its native nothingness, as they say. Drop it and continue forward freely. If you want to do a deeper dive into this idea, I suggest you read The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.
Be honest
Do what you can to be honest with yourself and with others in all things. (I’ve written about this subject before, which you can find here.) Honesty can be scary. Sometimes the truth hurts, sometimes we fear it will threaten everything we’ve built for ourselves. But a house built on lies is guaranteed to fall eventually.
What I mean is, you can’t be dishonest with yourself and expect your world to follow spectacularly. If you don’t know your truth and build on what it should be, your life isn’t built for who you actually are. You won’t be fulfilled, and you won’t fit into it.
And if you lie to others, when they find out you’re lying, that ruins any good relationship. Your friends and loved ones expect that the words coming out of your mouth are true. If they’re not, they either will leave you or your connection will be ruined.
This doesn’t mean that if you’ve ever told a lie in your life, you’re doomed to be unhappy. But it does mean it’s time to start digging yourself out of the hole you made and start living in truth. Otherwise you have to remember your lies and run from who you really are all the time. Living in truth allows you a certain peace that nothing else can. There’s no other shoe waiting to drop—you’re just you. And that’s enough.
Social
It’s no secret that humans are social animals. And while some of us may appear more social than others, claiming to be introverts or extroverts, we all require a sense of social satisfaction to be able to carry out a happy life. While we each have differing needs and levels of interest, I find that the next couple points can help create some sense of social happiness.
Spend time with loved ones
Life gets in the way often, and we can’t help that. However, many of us have people that we love and care about but just don’t see enough. This can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness for people. Even those that do, technically have a support system. But it’s not enough to have a support system, you need to use it.
So even though you’re busy, make time for plans that you enjoy with people that you care for. For some, it’s celebrations. For others, they prefer quiet hang out sessions in their homes. But either way, keep seeing the people you enjoy and who enjoy you. Check in with them, and make time to share in life together.
Sort out your social group
Now, your social circle might not be all rainbows and ponies. In fact, if you’re like most people, you may be spending time with some people who you don’t like or who don’t respect you, or other toxic engagements. These sorts of situations have a way of sneaking up on us with untold levels of unhappiness, and it’s best to nip them in the bud when we notice things starting to go south.
There are as many different ways of doing this as there are individual situations, but ultimately you’re going to want to make sure you’re engaging in healthy communication about your feelings, goals and interests. As well as drawing boundaries where necessary. You may find that something that was causing you chronic stress could be cleared up with one uncomfortable conversation. Or on the flip side, you may need to consider cutting someone out for your life completely. (Read this post here for further discussion on that topic.)
The thing to keep in mind is how to best restore your personal peace and if you can, that of those involved. You want your social circle to be a nourishing, worthwhile resource for you, and not just an emotional drain.
Create belonging
Another well-proven way to help boost your sense of social satisfaction and joy is to participate in and create community. It’s not enough to just have people around, you want to find people that you feel a sense of belonging with for meaningful reasons. Whether it’s shared goals or values or even just a shared interest, communities can provide emotional support in the darker days that life has to bring, and they help us put things in perspective because we have the benefit of others’ stories and examples to draw upon.
The other really great thing about participating in community is that you get to both give and receive, and often enough, simultaneously. This is good for people in need, as they can get resources, but they can also fulfill that need within them to be needed and recognized for something other than their struggle. Which brings me to my next point.
Help someone out
It’s become almost a cliché to talk about how helping others has be shown to make you happier, but it’s true. I believe this works for two reasons. One, it simply distracts us. Much of our unhappiness in life comes from our own penchant for overthinking, especially overthinking on things that make us upset. We all have problems, and not all of them have immediate solutions. When this happens, it’s easy to get stuck in obsessing, in hopes that we will be better prepared for the moment when we can, in fact, do something. However instead of preparing ourselves we usually just succeed in making ourselves miserable. If we decide to focus our brainpower and efforts on someone else and their issues, we don’t keep activating our own worries about life. Not to mention, it can help put things in perspective to see that we’re not the only one with problems. Any rational person knows this, but we don’t always remember it in our hearts.
The second reason that helping others might help make us happier is because it increases our sense of self-worth. We aren’t invincible. We might even be failing at something rather important to us at any given moment. But if we can help someone out with their problems despite all this, then it’s obvious that we can have a place in this world after all. Helping others can bring us that sense of belonging that we were talking about earlier, but in a broader sense. And it comes with a boost of self-esteem. What could be better? (If you want to read more about volunteering and how to start, look into this post on our sister site, Eight Years In.)
Organization
There are a few things that are almost universally stress-producing and counterproductive to living a happy life. Disorganization seems to be one of them. Now, you don’t have to plan every single minute of your day and religiously adhere to your carefully laid plans from the beginning of the month. But it’s important to make sure you’re able to keep things flowing. You want to know generally what direction things are taking and you want to keep your logistical housekeeping up-to-date.
Get your priorities straight
Priorities are extremely important, and it’s up to you to make sure you’re continually being honest with yourself about yours and if you’re supporting them. If you want to learn more about priorities, I suggest you look at this post for a more in-depth discussion.
When your start living your life actually working towards your priorities, you stop wasting your own time. You start to see results usually too, which is great, but even before then there’s a certain level of self-respect that comes with simply moving consistently in the direction of things you want instead of procrastinating due to fear. You don’t have to get all your goals achieved to feel this. You just have to get moving that way.
Take a look at your job
No, I’m not telling you to get up and quit your job if you’re unhappy. (Although I’m not telling you not to, either.) It’s just that if you’re an adult working full-time, you’re spending a lot of your life at work. And thinking about work. And getting ready for work, and decompressing after work…you get the idea. And it’s for this reason it’s important to take a look at your job’s role in keeping you happy or causing your unhappiness.
Having the best job in the world won’t fix all your life’s problems. But in the best case scenario, you deserve to have a job that first, pays your bills, second, doesn’t cause you severe health problems, third, gives you access to a good team and/or mentors that you respect. And fourth, gives you a sense of fulfillment. No, your job can’t compensate for lack of health, safety or direction in your personal life. But it can be a safe space to exist wherein you earn the money to pay your bills in a way that feels worthwhile. And this should be your goal. If you find that your job is a hostile place, causing you health problems, or is otherwise distressing or “soul-killing”, it’s worth it to consider a switch. Whether that means a different position, different company, or a different career entirely.
Perspective
There are many things that I learned from the research I did on the subject that didn’t really fit into these categories neatly. And I didn’t want to leave these gems out of this message for you, because I wanted everyone to be able to get everything they can out of this research. So I decided to list them here in their own sort of category, simply marked perspective. So here are some tips on how to hone your perspective to become more happy, from the experts.
Get accountable
Get really clear about the results you’re creating in life and commit to improving them. Focus on what you can change and what you can effect instead of being down in the dumps about what’s beyond your control.
The fact is that while we can’t control what happens to us, we can always do the best we can with what we have. This means choosing the best possible response and sometimes thinking outside the box in order to put time and effort into what’s important to you. If you’re not doing all you could be to face in the direction of what you want, then that’s on you. And only accountability will let you see that.
Do what you love
We all only have 24 hrs in a day, and some of our time is taken up more than others. That being said, it’s important to find creative solutions for sticking things in your life that make you happy. Hobbies, interests, things that make you feel good. Get serious about including these in your schedule on a regular basis. It is good for de-stressing, but also to put more beauty in your life through recreation. Engaging in hobbies also helps boost your propensity for creative thought, which helps your problem-solving skills in the most mundane of situations.
Have courage
I think sometimes this point needs to build on the previous. We’ve talked before about living a life without regrets (how to live without regrets) and intuition (what is intuition, and how useful is it?) so I will just briefly reiterate here. If you sit and reflect on it, you probably know what kinds of things you’re putting off for fear of failure or rejection or losing out on something else.
But when it comes to your own personal happiness, sometimes you have to be a little courageous and make the hard decisions. The fact is if you don’t, you’ll always be wondering “what if?”. And you’re putting off your happiness that way. So have the courage to embrace what you’re trying to build, even if it’s just bit by bit. Even if sometimes you have to take a leap and go with the opportunity that life’s given you.
Embrace change
Often we feel afraid and threatened by change. It’s human nature. But if we can keep in mind that with every circumstance comes good and bad and anchor in that understanding, we can go into the unknown feeling a lot more grounded than before. After all, nothing can get better if it doesn’t first change. Change will bring you new pleasures and perspective. Change will insert new life into your experience. This is good, even if it seems a bit scary at first.
Life is going to change, and so are all of us. (Which we talk about in this post.) That is perhaps the most disturbing, and at the same time, most wonderful thing about all of this. Things are never going to be the same again. It’s time we learn to accept that and enjoy it, when possible.
Explore
So we can embrace change that comes to us and that helps a lot, but I think seeking change and adventure shakes things up even more! By pushing the boundaries of who we are and what we know life to be, we have so many more exciting, interesting as d joyful experiences.
You can read this post about exploring the world around you and building a personal identity. But really what it comes down to in my opinion is openness. There is so much around us that we can discover and build off of if only we let our imaginations and curiosities be our guide. Look for the little uniquenesses in your every day life and start there. That weird little store you’ve never gone into, a new recipe for dinner, a movie that might be so bad it’s good.
Look for novelty and when you find it, let that novelty influence your ideas and ultimately, who you are. Your identity can be made up of who you’ve been and what you know, but it’s so much more fun if it’s influenced by what you’re exploring and what you’re willing to try.
Let us know what you think!
Thank you for reading these tips and perspectives on how to be happy. While happiness is not one size fits all, there certainly are some things that have been shown to positively affect a person’s happiness barometer. If you’re super happy, or you’ve had success becoming happier, share your expertise in the comments down below. We all love to learn from each other over here. And don’t forget to share this with someone who wants to be happy. Everyone could use some more tips from time to time. Have a joyful day!
If you want to get more into the subjects mentioned today and you’re a bit of a reader, here are the books that I read and based this post off of:
- The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
- The Game of Life and How to Play It, by Florence Scovel Shinn
- You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay
- 10% Happier, by Dan Harris
- How We Choose to be Happy, by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks
- The Chemistry of Joy: A Three-Step Program for Overcoming Depression through Western Science and Eastern Wisdom, by Henry Emmons, M.D. and Rachel Kranz
