Hello and welcome to the Thoughts that Bind! And if you’re returning, welcome back! I’ve been thinking a lot about habits recently, both good ones and bad ones. And today, I wanted to talk about 6 habits that will change your life. Or, more accurately, six habits that changed mine. You see, I can’t tell you what would be right for you, but I do know that in my experience, these six things made all the difference.
And so this post should be relatively straightforward today. It’s just six suggestions on habits that really helped me break open the world and myself, that I think you might really benefit from as well. Let’s get into it!
Reading
You can learn almost anything and everything from a good book. If you’re willing to open up to different ways of life, you can be completely transformed and remade by the books you read.
Not to mention, a book can sweep you away to a whole other world, especially if you’re reading a fiction story. I have heard many people talk about how this book or that book changed their life (I even have a series you can check out on this site about books that changed my life), and that’s not always an exaggeration. No, the fact is, a good book can completely change your perspective on your habits, lifestyle, almost anything. Books are a gateway to the wide open world in front of us. They train us to focus better and to slow down enough to open to new ideas.
If you’ve been wanting to get reading but aren’t quite sure how to fit it into your schedule, read this post!
Meditation
Speaking of slowing down and opening up our minds, I want to talk about meditation because it’s one habit that has in the past, changed my life, and continues to do so to this day. While everyone’s experience with meditation is different, mine has been extremely positive. As someone with a tendency to have very fast thoughts and strong feelings, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to meditate. Lucky for me, I didn’t know how wrong I was.
No, the fact is, the more you insist you’re the kind of person who couldn’t meditate, the more you would benefit from it. And once I just got over myself and gave it a try, I found that out firsthand. It doesn’t make me superhuman. But it does keep my anxiety at bay. It helps me relax and slow down. And it’s funny, because each time going into it, I tend to think “oh there’s no way that I can get through this and quiet down”. I somehow manage. And once I do, I realize that all of that stuff I was stressing out about half an hour ago is still there, but surprisingly, not the end of the world like I previously felt. No, meditation is again, not a magic pill. But a pretty great tool. Read more on the subject here.
Exercise
I think we all know that we “should” be exercising, but we don’t really realize what that “should” entails until we start doing it. And I’m not talking about going to the gym once, getting all burnt out and then deciding after being all sore the next day “that was terrible, I’m never going back.” I’m talking about building a habit of exercise into your lifestyle that you will continually do.
For me, it started off with yoga. I was never very athletic as a young kid. In fact, I dreaded gym class knowing that I was going to be sweaty and people would see my face turning red when I exerted myself. I found it uncomfortable and humiliating and I avoided all exercise as much as possible. But when I found yoga, I found an exercise that was accessible and even a little bit fun. The more I got into it the better I felt in my body. (Both physically and emotionally, but I cannot overstate the physical sensation of living in a body that exercises. It feels so comfortable. Capable. Strong. Right.)
I began doing “my yoga” in the morning as part of my routine for years, and more recently I have found pleasure in other types of exercise as well. But my biggest tip here is to get moving in a way that you will keep going. You may be like me, and find that as you feel more comfortable with physical activity, you branch out. Or you may not. But even if you only have that one thing, that’s way better for you than nothing, mentally and physically.
Goal-setting in a skill-oriented way (vs achievement based)
We love to talk about making goals and improving our lives on this site. I think that it’s important to have direction in life, and it brings a sense of fulfillment to us like nothing else. That being said, a lot of people go about setting goals wrong, in my humble opinion.
It would be good for all of us to begin looking at goals with mile markers that are skill-based instead of achievement based. When we say “I want to get this” instead of “I want to be able to do this”, what we’re really doing is putting our personal pride and fulfillment in the hands of the external world, instead of ourselves.
Instead, what we can do is put the impetus on us, in our internal world, on our efforts and skills instead of what may or may not happen in the future.
For instance, maybe you want to write a really successful and lucrative book. Well, this goal should be broken up into goals such as “think up a story”, “write a book”, “find a publisher” and so on. By making the goal external, like a certain amount of copies sold, for instance, we place too much of the importance on things that are out of our control.
Essentially, the more we can make goals surrounding our personal growth instead of our expectations of the outside world, the more fulfilled we’re bound to be.
Making time for reflection and feelings
Sometimes you really just need to sit with yourself and take a few breaths in order to understand and cope with where you’re at. Life gets fast sometimes and there’s no stopping it. However, you can slow down the whirlwind a bit if you mark off some time in your schedule to sit and think and feel.
This may seem overrated to many, especially because of our societal values in these modern days of productivity and extraversion. But believe me that when I tell you sitting quietly by yourself and checking in can be a life-changer. You finally get in touch with what you truly want and need and can direct your life in such a way that fulfills you and propels you forward. I’m extremely grateful for my alone time and know many people who feel the same since they started implementing their own version of it.
Telling people you love them
And this last one is probably my favorite. Make sure to tell the people you love that you love them. Tell them often, tell them in many different ways, in many different situations, and really just whenever you remember to do it even for no reason. You can hardly say it too much.
We’ve gotten really weirdly twisted up in society today. We act like acknowledging our feelings makes us weak but it doesn’t. In fact, in my opinion, it’s a weakness not to be able to acknowledge them, but that’s a different conversation. The fact is, no matter how smart our loved ones may be, they’re not mind-readers. And the worst thing that could happen is that your relationship could end and they not know just how important they were to you. Relationships can end all sorts of ways, whether it’s fights or death or life circumstances, but always do your best to appreciate people while they’re around.
When you get into the habit of doing this consistently, you’ll find that people are more comfortable being affectionate with you. People will view you as a more warm person that they want to get to know. And you’ll be putting out positive energy into the world around you. But more than anything, you’ll find that checking back in with these loving feelings helps the hard times pass easier. And you end up much less bitter and angry because you can relax knowing that you put into your life everything that you could. That is what I call emotional freedom.
Thank you for reading my suggestions. If you like what I had to say, subscribe to the blog for more life and wellness related content. And let me know in the comments, what habit has changed your life?
