Hello, and welcome back to The Thoughts that Bind. Today, we’re continuing the MissBekah Music series and talking about the meaning behind the song Human Nature. First, go listen to the song by clicking here (for YouTube) or here (to listen to it on SoundCloud). You can find the lyrics written below.
Lyrics:
I want my own place. I want my own life To wear my own face, nothing left to hide. We’ve got the love, we both know. We fell in love that night. My own lawn, I own none. Say goodbye, Love, Let it go. Goodbye to trees, goodbye to me, I let it go. I’m growing up, I’m close enough, I come and go. Who do you share blood with? Who are you becoming? I fell in love with you. Tree of life, tree of work, So much sadness. First forgive, then forget all this madness. Strange and supple is your soul. I want my own place. I want my own mind. To do things my way and take my time.
Background
This song reflects on the narrator’s journey through growing up and understanding themselves as the years go by. They want their own identity and independence, but they don’t quite know how to find it because everyone has already told them who they’re supposed to be and what life’s supposed to look like. All of it washes before them at once and they wonder what any of it really means in the grand scheme of things. All of the memories, all of the secrets, all of the things that they did because they were told to, what end can it come to in the face of a goodbye?
Independence
The first theme we visit in Human Nature is this idea of independence. “I want my own place, I want my own life. To wear my own face, nothing left to hide.” We’ve all felt this way at one time or another, especially as children. Our authority figures tell us what to do based on what they think is best, and at times it can feel stifling. Some children rebel, and others, like the main character, tend to just feel angsty about it because they still do what they’re told instead of breaking out into the world. And these secrets overcome you, with time. Until you can no longer be this person you always had to pretend to be.
We see the narrator fighting for independence in how they insist that their love is real and true, regardless of what others might say, “We’ve got the love. We both know. We fell in love that night.” For once, something cannot be measured by people on the outside. And yet we, as the listeners, have to wonder are they just falling into the same patterns? Because many young people fall into love and feel like they are finally real adults and where they’re supposed to be in life, only to find themselves using their partner as an emotional crutch to act out what happened in the past or to defer important life decisions (that they should be making themselves) onto. The narrator is reaching for independence through their love, but are they finding it? Who’s to say?
Surrender
We all come into this life the same—naked, with no possessions or knowledge. But this great equalizer is something none of us can remember. As we grow, we accumulate things and experiences and ideas. There are many things in life that challenge us to let go. Sometimes they’re life experiences and sometimes they’re personal epiphanies caused by the experiences of others. Either way, the narrator begins to realize that all the stuff they’re holding onto isn’t really theirs or what’s most important.
“My own lawn, I own none. Say goodbye love, let it go.” We know that the narrator wants their own place. But it seems that at the same time, they’re coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have it yet. Maybe they never truly will. “Goodbye to trees, goodbye to me, I let it go.” Getting further away from what they once had, the narrator realizes that there’s freedom in surrender. “I’m growing up, I’m close enough. I come and go.” This surrender is growth. And while it isn’t linear and isn’t complete, there is a sense of bittersweet pride in a half-done project. Maybe there’s no joy, not yet. But the hope of a brighter future without the mental blocks of the past is there.
Family
The next lines beg us to ask what family really means. “Who do you share blood with? Who are you becoming? I fell in love with you.” Is family the people whose blood runs through our veins? Or is family the people that we prioritize in our lives and build with? I’m under the impression that it’s both. We can, and do, choose our family every day. These people that we share a bloodline with are important on the grounds that we make them important. We have shared many moments with them growing up and in the years that followed that breed a sense of emotional intimacy. Even if we don’t like them, often they can understand things about us that a stranger just can’t.
That being said, the people we choose to have in our life can have an even more profound impact on who we are and how our life goes. Especially once we get older. While we may have this idea that family is first, you don’t get to choose your family of origin. And once you grow up, even if you do remain close with them, you still leave to become your own person. It’s hard to say at what point your chosen tribe becomes more important than your family of origin.
And that’s what this narrator is asking by saying “Who are you becoming? I fell in love with you.” It’s not an admonishment. It’s a form of acknowledging the bond that has been forged and strengthened over time, without blood relation, through friendship and life experience. Through love and respect and hope. And they’re looking for that validation back that although they may have floated away from their childhood home, they have indeed found their place in life.
The everyday
Then we arrive at the following lines. “Tree of life, tree of work, so much sadness. First forgive, then forget all this madness. Strange and supple is your soul.” The tree of life is a symbol for the flow and energy of life in general. It reaches up into the sky, has a solid trunk in the middle and then branches out into roots that keep it firmly planted in the ground. And humans are like that too, we reach out to the ideas of spirituality and the possible future ahead of us, but we’re firm in the present and that’s where we reside. Yet, our roots are what keep us planted there. And the question becomes, what are you rooted in? Is it your past? Is it your habits and behaviors that you maintain now to keep yourself healthy and happy? Is it a place or another person?
And yet with all these questions about the magic of simple existence, we still have to deal with the monotony of the everyday. There is no spiritual symbol of the “tree of work”. Yet we carry a sense of duty and “my job” around with us, seemingly wherever we go. We hardly ever escape it. Even if we manage to leave a job or find a way to not work, we still think about what it is “our job” to do. And these things pile up into a certain despondency over time, if we’re not careful. The fact is that other’s expectations of us are not “our job” to fulfill.
Forgiveness
If we’ve been living for others so long to the point of resentment and overwhelm, how can we move on? Most people want to talk about forgiveness. And that’s why I view this next line kind of like a quote that the narrator recites to themselves in their head. “First forgive, then forget all this madness.” It’s like an amended quote that has become a sort of checklist in their head. I have to forgive, and then I can finally forget all of the pain that has been put on me. But with people who are close to you, it’s not quite so simple, branching out on your own. The next chunk tips us off to this a little—“strange and supple is your soul”.
There’s a certain kind of injury that comes from being betrayed and dominated by those you care about. It builds a resentment like you wouldn’t believe, but there’s love there. And you see the beauty of the person even though they’re hurting you. And you think that would help the forgiveness process, which it sort of does. But often times, it leads to you causing further resentment in yourself. We often say forgive and forget in the sense that once you’ve forgiven you can just move on and not have to address the issue further. But we need boundaries. We need to stand up for ourselves and what is okay and not okay for us, or else we’ll harm ourselves and the very relationships we’re trying to save.
“Strange and supple is your soul” is an acknowledgment that no matter how much you might try to love someone, they have their own problems that they’re working through. And it’s an acknowledgment that no matter how much they have their problems, you love them. Sometimes love is messy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not love. And it’s a message, in a way, to the self. To look at your own faults (that some may have weaponized against you) and say “you know what, to me, you’re beautiful.” Perhaps in a way, it’s also a brief nod to reclaiming those things that others may have tried to use as emotional weapons against you.
Your own mind
We end the song with the narrator coming to a realization. “I want my own place. I want my own mind. To do things my way and take my time.” While they may not have a physical place of their own, the one thing they do have and can cultivate is their mind. Nobody has control over who you are and how you think, not if you train yourself to be otherwise.
As many people filter into your life experience, the only one who you’ll spend all your life is, is you. Whether it’s family of origin or the people you pick, you’re still the one living in your brain, carving your own path. And while it may seem overwhelming at times, this is the only thing you truly have control over. Who you are and where you’re going.
I think it’s very important to feel loved and fulfilled in life. And we’ll look for that all over, as humans. But ultimately, as we often explore here on the Thoughts that Bind, that has to come from within. And once it does, it doesn’t matter what you have to say goodbye to. In time, you’ll be okay.
Thank you for reading my thoughts. I hope you were able to get some value from them. If you enjoyed what I had to say, subscribe to the blog and to MissBekah’s music so that you can follow the evolution of both. Let us know what you think of Human Nature and your take on the meaning in a comment down below. We’d love to have a conversation about this special song.
