Hello, and welcome back to the Thoughts that Bind. And if you’re new here, welcome. Now, as you may or may not know, I’m Rebekah. And other than keeping this website maintained, I also like to make music. Sometimes I like to use music to simply express myself, while other times the songs I make have more to do with how I see the world. I found that there was some overlap with things I wanted to say to my readers here, and in my music. And so, I decided to begin a series wherein I talk about certain songs and the viewpoint that informs them.
Today, we’re talking about Happy, which you can listen to on YouTube by clicking here.
Lyrics:
If I go, who’s gonna go with me? Who’s gonna care when I’m insane? You keep seeing problems, but who the hell can solve them? Will it hurt them if I’m happy? I can’t imagine what it’s like To never know if I’m gonna eat tonight. There are people dying in these streets And some of them would kill to be me. And if I go, who’s gonna go with me? Who’s gonna care when I’m insane? You keep seeing problems, but who the hell can solve them? Will it hurt them if I’m happy? We think we have monopoly On things like suffering and feeling. Everyone has something new to bring And most of them could teach you something. But if I go, who’s gonna go with me? Who’s gonna care when I’m insane? You keep seeing problems, but who the hell can solve them? Will it hurt them if I’m happy? Right now I’m not bleeding out or having my possessions strewn all about. It’s easy to just say, “Oh, that’s not me.” But tomorrow there is no guarantee. So if I go, who’s gonna go with me? Who’s gonna care when I’m insane? You keep seeing problems, but who the hell can solve them? Will it hurt them if I’m happy? Will it hurt them if I’m happy?
Background
When I was writing this album in general, I was feeling quite angsty about society. And I wrote many songs about all of the problems that plague our world. But the thing about all of that is you only have so much time in the day and when it’s all taken up by worrying and obsessing about problems, that can really take a toll on you. That’s the emotional place that I wrote this song from.
Problems
As I go through this song, I contemplate different problems that face society. Starvation, violence, theft/eviction, and betrayal. And while I was glad to be limited by the song structure and length, the mind has no such limits. There are endless injustices and problems that I could have worked into the song, just as there are endless problems and fears you can work into your mind on your own and other’s behalf.
Apathy, the conversation
I wrote this song to be more like a response to a conversation that we don’t ever get to hear. The person singing the song feels exhausted and annoyed with the one or many who keep telling them the world is burning. They don’t want to continue. They feel frustrated and impotent and just want to shut all of these conversations out. I’ve been on both sides of this, and it’s a tough place to be, especially when you’re in a close relationship. This idea of “who the hell can solve them” cuts the deepest, because even if you claw back to caring, what can truly be done about the human condition and state of the world by just one more person? Isn’t that the eternal question?
Other people have it worse
You can read my post about the idea of “other people have it worse” here. But this is something I’ve been mulling over for a while. How useful is it truly to say that other people have it worse? For some, it can be incredibly motivating to think about how blessed you are in relation to others. They may think “wow I have it really good” and want to help. At the same time though, it often backfires. Especially if the person in question is not getting their needs met in some way.
I think in this song, it could go either way. In the beginning the narrator acknowledges that they have it better than many. “There are people dying in these streets and some of them would kill to be me.” They’re not unaware that they have it good. But towards the end they’re a lot more jaded. Saying that it’s easy to say “that’s not me”, but tomorrow there is no guarantee. And this can be taken two ways. Perhaps that’s their way of finding compassion. However, it may also their way of shutting down and feeling defensive. Like, sure, I’m good now, but look at the state of this world! I need to look out for myself. And if this is what they want to say, then it is important to refer back to what needs aren’t getting met to create this feeling. Because this is fear and insecurity talking.
The big question
As I was writing this song I really had to ask myself, at what point is caring not helpful. And when is it justified to say “okay I just have to focus on me”. This song really highlights the whole empathy burnout process to the point where it can come off as callous and apathetic and you start to wonder “is this really me?” And “is my lack of caring really justifiable or just something that I’ve careened into because I let myself burn out?” I think there really is a sense of guilt that we end up saddled with when we don’t take care of our mental health. And it’s up to us to be able to walk that line and do the best we can to keep making positive change without eroding our mental health and sense of self.
I don’t think it’s selfish to acknowledge that while you might have it better than others, you still have needs. Just because somebody has it worse than you doesn’t mean that you have to ignore what’s going on in your life and shut off your feelings. Just like how other people having a better life than you doesn’t mean you can’t be happy, others having a worse life than you doesn’t mean you can’t feel sad.
Will it hurt them if I’m happy?
What does it mean to be happy? We as people do all sorts of things in the pursuit of our own happiness. Sometimes these things are good and other times they are empty or selfish. In the context of this song, I believe the speaker is talking about focusing on themselves instead of all of the problems in the world. And that’s a lot more complicated of a question than we might at first glance think.
You need to make sure you’re in a good enough condition to serve others and help the world. If you’re not, try as you might you’ll be ineffective or worse. So it’s not inherently bad to make sure you’re good in order to later come back and care about issues that don’t necessarily affect you. But that’s just it. When does later come? Where does this phase end and the next start? How can we quantify that for ourselves, let alone others?
I think that part of being a good person is trying to put as much good and as little bad into the world as we can. We want to care about our impact. And it’s true, there are people who never find an end to this “me first” phase. “Will it hurt them if I’m happy?” No, probably not. But putting yourself over others has its time and place. And finding out when that is can be difficult for all of us who are prone to one side or the other. Is the narrator overwhelmed and burnt out or are they selfish and apathetic? We’ll never truly know, because it’s a song. But the question is worth asking when it comes to ourselves and how we interact with the world around us.
