Hello, and welcome back to the Thoughts that Bind. And if you’re new, welcome! Great to have you. I talk a lot on this site about how to improve your life, and things that I learn and observe along the way. It’s true, on this site, we love introspection! And I was feeling introspective earlier. Instead of writing a letter to my past self or working it out in my journal, I realized there are a few quick things that I wanted to share with my readers. Things that I wish I would’ve learned sooner, so that you can avoid having to learn the long, hard way. So this one will be a bit of a shorter post today, but I hope you enjoy all the same. Let’s get started!
1) Having goals can change your life
You have to make them, and then you also have to follow through on them. But if you do that, life can be so amazing and satisfying in a way that you just don’t get when you’re floating about aimlessly. It’s not worth overthinking and stressing about (see my next point), but getting clear about your vision and direction for your life can have some really good benefits. You get more confidence. You’re more productive, and the life you start to build can become nearly anything you want it to be.
2) Overthinking can kill you
This may seem a little dramatic, but it’s actually true. When you get in the habit of overthinking, you can’t enjoy anything. There is no ultimate solution to your conversations or social interactions. You really just have to do your best and move on or else you breed anxiety, depression and self-hatred. And that is a cocktail that can lead you to death either by suicide, dysfunction or illness.
3) Fun is not an objective term
There is literally not one thing that everybody in the world will find fun. This idea tends to hurt people who are more introverted or like quiet activities. But it can be applied either way. When someone acts like you don’t know how to have fun just because you’re different from them, they are the ignorant one. Not you. Don’t internalize that.
4) Honesty is different from oversharing
I always wanted to be an honest person. And when I was younger, I definitely didn’t realize that you can be honest and still have some things that are private. It doesn’t mean that you are keeping secrets or dishonest. But not everyone is entitled to your story just because they ask. Heck, not even everyone who asks actually wants to know when it comes down to it anyway.
5) No one can tell you how to live your life
This one I’ve actually written a whole post about before. So if you want to read that, you can click here. But the thing is, life is so wide open. Everyone has different values and dreams and ideas. It’s up to you to decide for yourself what you want to pursue and prioritize with this one life that you’ve been given. For me and many others I have personally observed, we spend far too much time believing that somebody else has the answer and searching for it in the mountains of advice on the internet, in books and in real life. Truly, nobody has “the answer”, because there isn’t one.
6) You can be whoever you want to be.
This one is quite similar to the one above, and it’s partially because I felt it was worth nailing in but also the distinction is about identity and personality traits. While it’s true there are some things you inherit from your parents genetically, for the most part, people are pretty malleable. You can train yourself to become a different kind of person over time, if you are committed to it. And life will change you anyway—you’re not going to stay the same person you thought you always had to be, one way or the other. The one question is as follows: are you going to guide that progression or is life going to push you to it? That’s a decision you have to make and continue making on a regular basis. (Check out this post about living your life on purpose for more info.)
7) Love is not all you need
You know, I really enjoy the Beatles’ music. But this is the one song that I just keep coming back to as simply incorrect. I mean, it’s a nice sentiment and I always wanted to believe in it but the longer I live the more I just can’t. We need love, but we need a whole lot more than that to keep our relationships flowing. We need trust and respect and basic human decency. And many of you may say “well, that’s included in love” but I’m telling you, for much of the population, it’s not. And maybe this is more of a point that people sell things off as love that aren’t actually love. But there is this idea that love is a feeling. And what I’m saying is, whether it’s you who has that feeling or someone else claiming to have that feeling, it’s not enough. A feeling is never enough, no matter how strong that feeling may be. You need the actions behind it.
8) Life is both longer and shorter than you could ever imagine it to be
I’ve written more or less about this idea here, if you’re interested in digging deeper. But life goes by so fast and yet so slow. It’s hard to explain succinctly and poetically, but if you look back at all that can and has happened in a year, you’ll see what I’m talking about. It was just a year, and yet so much is in there. And it had to be lived moment by moment, day by day. And it’s for this reason that you have to develop a balance of both planning and living in the moment. The fact is, with only one approach your life just won’t be balanced. And when it comes to life, you really do want to strike your own personal balance.
And that’s our list! Thank you for reading along with me, and if there’s a topic that you’d like to see covered more in-depth, let me know in the comments down below. If you liked this introspection, consider subscribing to the blog and checking out some of my other posts. There’s an entire world of ideas waiting for you on the Thoughts that Bind, as we live life as it comes.
