Hello, and welcome back to the Thoughts that Bind! Today, we’re talking about a very important subject: How to get what you want in life. I think this is something that we’re all looking for in one way or another, and today we’re going to talk about the broad strokes of what you need in order to get it.
Know what you want
So the first step to getting what you want is to know what it is you’re looking for. Now, you might think “Oh, obviously.” But really give this pause.
A lot of us think that we want something, but we don’t really stop to analyze why we want it and what we’re actually looking for. This can bring strife down the line when you finally “get what you wanted” but realize that you’re not happy because that’s not really what you were looking for in the first place. So don’t skimp on this step.
Sit down with yourself. Ask yourself what you want. Ask yourself why you want it, what your true aims are. Get really clear about your specific desires and identify what is just an idea for obtaining them instead of your actual desires. It’s good to have ideas for how to achieve your goals, as long as you don’t mistake them for the actual goals themselves.
And write it all down! There’s something that happens in our brains when we physically write things down. We remember it better, sure, and then we have a reference to look back on later too, if we happen to forget. But that’s not all. When we physically write things down, we connect with the ideas more on a psychological level. And when it comes to your dreams and desires, you can’t afford to not do it.
Know who you are (or will be)
Okay, so now that you know what you want, it’s important to know who you are. Now, I’ve written about identity before—both creating it and exploring it, (which you can find here and here respectively) but that’s not exactly what I’m getting at here.
While you know what you want, you’re going to want to identify what it’s going to be like for you, as you are, to be living these desires of yours. I want you to consider how they would fit into your life. Visualize being the kind of person who is, has, or does what it is you say you want.
What would your day and habits look like with these desires fulfilled? See it all in your mind’s eye. Partially because visualizing has been shown to help people get to their goals, but also partially because it helps give you ideas of how to change your course to more relevant endeavors. Not only that, but it helps you understand more of how this life that you’re working toward will work.
Make a plan (with baby steps)
If you’re going to move towards a new way of being, you’ll need a plan. Depending on who you are, you’ll want a more detailed plan. While some like to only look at the big picture, I find it quite helpful to break big tasks down into smaller steps, and then even smaller steps, and then little tiny baby steps.
Basically, I keep breaking it down until my next step is clear and extremely easy. The less room for confusion or fear, the better. Some days, the steps will seem silly due to how small I need them to be. But the point is that even in your worst day, you can still make that little bit of progress. And that’s a beautiful thing. All of those days of consistent little progress strung together when you otherwise would have had none add up over time. And you end up with something where you otherwise would have had nothing.
Make new habits
Now, let’s talk about habits. This one speaks to consistency and change more than anything else. But you’re going to want to work towards what you want in order to get it. And the only way to do that to the point of success is to get consistent.
A lot of people will work off of motivation and think that’s going to get them where they want but truthfully, this strategy is doomed to fail. Because you’re not always going to be motivated to do what is necessary. You can read more about motivation vs inspiration in this post. If you work off of inspiration plus constructive habits, then you don’t have to worry about the chilling applications of this truth.
You did your visualizing earlier. What habits will you need to put into place in order to maintain this kind of lifestyle? Start them now, and watch your dream grow.
Think positive
This last one, I’m adding to the list because it really has shown itself to be quite important to me. I grew up as a very naturally pessimistic person, and slowly but surely I have learned the power of positive thinking.
While it’s true, you can sometimes still achieve your goals even when thinking negative, that pessimism doesn’t help you as much as you think it would.
How negative thinking hurts you
The fact is, when you always think about the worst case scenario and feed yourself negativity, you start to limit yourself. Your brain will believe what you tell it. And if you tell it that you’re stupid and incapable, you don’t achieve as much. Heck, you don’t even reach out to try things that you otherwise could be very successful at because you’re convinced that the worst case scenario is the most likely.
Not to mention that this constant negative barrage kills your creativity. To think creatively, you need a certain amount of hope and cheerfulness in the system, or else you’ll get paralyzed in indecision. Positive thinking helps you open to new ideas and your true potential. Anything that you manage to achieve by thinking negative, you could achieve more and better by learning to think more positively—or even neutrally.
It’s not bad to be prepared for many possible outcomes. In fact, I think it’s important to consider what you might do if things don’t go as planned. But remember, you’re just as ill -prepared if you only consider the negative.
Conclusion
And that is, broad strokes, how to go about getting what you want in life. Building your life is an ongoing process, and you’ll never get it all done. But that’s okay. In fact, there’s beauty in continual becoming.
If you get clear what you want, take time to understand and see how it would fit in your life, build habits to shoot you towards your goal and learn to mold your mind to support your own mental health and vigor, you’ll be setting yourself up for success in all that you do. While nothing in life is that simple, these are the building blocks of getting what you want. Everything else grows from this framework.
I hope that you found this post helpful. If you did, be sure to share it with others who might be looking for this message and subscribe to the blog for email updates whenever a new post goes live! And let us know in the comments below if you have any success tips of your own, so we can all learn from each other. Thanks for reading!
