Hello, and welcome to the Thoughts that Bind. If you’ve been following us for a while, then welcome back!
Today, we’re going to be talking about a very important question. And while I think it’s important to mention that it has no specific correct answer, there are very many points to be discussed when thinking this over. So remember as you’re reading, this conversation is one of nuance and opinion, not of objective correctness. With that in mind, let’s dig in.
No, you can’t waste your life
Since this conversation has no objective basis, I wanted to point out the fact that rationally, you can’t really waste your life. There isn’t a way to “waste” something that has no objective purpose in the first place.
We going around asking each other all the time, “What’s the meaning of life?” And you’d think we’d realize by now that life has no meaning at all other than the meaning that you personally give it. So that means that in a way, as long as you’re happy with the direction your life is taking, then you can’t technically be wasting it. Because it’s yours, to use as you please.
But that’s just it, isn’t it? As long as you’re happy. There are so many people who aren’t happy with their lives at any given moment. Does that mean they’re automatically wasting their life?
As long as you’re happy
Life is a gift. And it’s a gift for you to do with what you wish. But just because you’re not happy with the way things are going right now, doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life in general.
See, it’s not the outcome that dictates the waste. We never have complete control of the outcome. But what we do have control over is how our own actions influence the outcome. And so when it comes to this idea of are you wasting your life, what really needs to be examined are your own actions. How are you using the resources you have in your life?
Wasting Time
One of the biggest building blocks of your life is the undetermined amount of time that you have. And we all know, time is something you can certainly waste. And if you want to hear more about how to stop wasting your time, check out this post I wrote a little while back on this site.
But essentially, if you have a habit of wasting your own time, then you have a habit of wasting your own life. And this is a habit you can get out of with a mixture of prioritizing and time management. In my opinion, it’s a multi-faceted issue. But essentially, you need to take a look at what sorts of things are worth your time in the first place, and then figure out how to fit them into your life. You’ll probably have to start saying no to less important things that tend to creep in if you’re not careful.
Big picture
But when we talk about wasting time, we might be getting a little bit lost in the weeds. Let’s talk about this on the macro level. There are a lot of ways you can waste your life, depending on who you talk to. And since the meaning of life is so individual, it makes sense that people would have their own perspectives on what it means to waste it, as well.
In general, I think it’s safe to say that wasting your life boils down to this: You haven’t looked inward to figure out what’s most important to you. Or you have, but you don’t consistently prioritize it.
As much as it can be annoying or cringe to talk about goals (thinking back to those weird, planned talks they would give us back in school), it’s important to realize that making goals can truly transform your life. Only through this introspection can you realize what is really most important to you. What kind of life you want to live, and how you might go about achieving that. But I’ve come across a couple ways of looking at this life that might help guide you a little bit. So let’s look at how someone might waste their life.
Spending too much time on problems
You don’t want to obsess over your problems to the point where you can’t enjoy the present moment and experience true happiness. The base of this perspective comes from the idea that life is for enjoying, and the only thing we truly have is the present moment in front of us. And you know what? It’s true. All we ever actually have is the here and now. If you spend so much time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, you never get to enjoy the now.
So when you’re thinking so much about your issues and things you want to fix, stop and take a breath. Ask yourself, big picture, is this getting in the way of you living your life?
Believing too much in tomorrow
I hear it all the time “Oh, I’ll do that tomorrow.” “I’ll start eating healthy next week.” “Maybe when I’m feeling more motivated, I’ll get serious about that.” “New year, new me.” And I’m sorry, but that’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works!
Motivation is a lovely thing, when you’ve got it. But the truth is, it’s really slippery. And if you expect yourself to have it in order to act the way you know you should, well you’re never going to get hardly anything done. Sometimes, we get these wonderful spurts of motivation in the beginning of making a change in our lives. But even they dissipate after a short period of time. And then you’re just left with you. Are you going to keep going? Are you going to make this change in your life?
One of the biggest gaps you’ll have to deal with in life when it comes to making changes is the one in between motivation and habit. But what we don’t often discuss is the fact that you don’t actually need motivation to start a darn thing. If all you have is inspiration, that will do you just fine.
You’ve got to know what you want to do and why it’s so important to you. Because as I often say, you know what it is you should be doing in life. So what is it? What would help your daily life tremendously if you were to implement it? And why? And once you find that, don’t wait until tomorrow or next week or next year. Do a little bit right now. And then do a little bit more tomorrow. Even if that little bit is all you can do for now, it’s much better than pushing it off. (If you want to hear more about motivation and inspiration, read this.)
Repressing your feelings
We know, I’m all about feeling your feelings on this site. (I’ve written about it here, if you want to read more about it.) But did you know that by not letting yourself acknowledge and process your feelings, you’re passively wasting your life?
Your feelings are a great guidance, if you let them be. If you’re upset about something, that’s a great indicator that something should be done either to change it or to cope with it. And if you don’t give yourself the chance to have this feeling because you think it makes you weak, you’ll never be able to find the solutions that will make you strong. (Read more about strength here.)
But it’s not just about strength either. No, people convince themselves of all kinds of things to avoid feeling what they truly feel inside. And that starts bringing things all out of whack in their lives. They convince themselves they’re not interested in that person, so they don’t go introduce themselves. And of course they’re not sad about being treated unfairly, so they never ask for anything more. The list goes on and on and on but what it leads to is years passing in unhappiness and denial.
Your feelings don’t have to be public if you don’t want them to be, but don’t make the mistake of hiding them from yourself. You’re going to make your personal journey a lot harder if you do this.
Low self-esteem
I think the final one is something that we all combat, from time to time. We think we’re not good enough. Good enough in general, for our dreams to come true, for our actions to make a difference in this world. We believe that we’re just simply “ourselves” and that there is someone out there (or a whole lot of people) greater than us.
And some of us deal with this perspective chronically. I hate to say it, but being stuck in low self-esteem is another way to waste your life. I know that seems harsh, but bear with me.
When you decide you’re not good enough you start to sabotage yourself, even when there are good opportunities surrounding you. And when it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get some work done, you think “why bother, I’m useless.” If you’re not going to do the work it takes to get somewhere, you’re not going to get there, plain and simple. And it’s not just that. When someone doesn’t believe in themselves, it’s hard to find another who does and will fight you on your own harsh self-image. To be frank with you, it’s not their job to convince you of your worth and they just won’t do it.
Low self esteem is such a frustrating one, because you can feel like it’s something you don’t have control over. And in this exact moment, no. You don’t have control over how your past has caused you to perceive yourself. However, you can put in work to make your future self-image improve. And if this is something that you are interested in doing, I would very much recommend you prioritizing it right now. The world is a better place when you like yourself. If you want to read about my own journey in self love, you can find it here. And I promise you—you’re not alone, and you can make strides towards this that you probably can’t even fathom right now.
In Conclusion
I know nobody wants to say they’ve wasted their lives, and to be honest, nobody has to. Just as I said, there is no one true “meaning of life”. This life is yours, to do with what you please. And if I said anything that you disagree with, hold onto that. Don’t let me tell you what your life should look like just because I have an opinion I posted on the internet. Only you know what your life should look like.
If you want to think more about living a life you’re proud of, you might want to continue by reading this post entitled “How to live without regrets”. Because honestly, isn’t that all that any of us want? Thank you for visiting the Thoughts that Bind today. If you liked what I had to say, subscribe to the blog for more discussions on wellness, philosophy and mental mastery. And let us know in the comments below, what do you think constitutes a life well-lived?
