Why being “for” something is good for you

   I’ve heard some references to Mother Theresa over the years about how if you want to make a change in the world, you need to stop putting your efforts into what you’re against and start putting efforts and energy into what you’re for. (Or something to that effect.) And while I don’t put her up on a pedestal as the best example of a “good human”, I definitely think she had a point there. 

  In this world, there is so much that we can focus on. There are pretty much infinite topics, and you can go your whole life finding new information and ideas. I think we tend to forget just how big this world is sometimes. 

The negativity, the against position

    But with the world being so big, honestly, there are also a lot of things to be against. Horrible things, terrible things, or even just things that you personally dislike a lot. With a world so big, of course you’re not going to like everything that’s in it. There’s no avoiding that and if I’m being frank with you, I don’t think there’s any sense in denying it either. (You can read my post on why you should feel your feelings here if you’d like.)

   No, any sensible person will find things in this world that they are against. I think it’s fine to acknowledge that. In fact, I think it’s important to acknowledge it if we want to avoid toxic positivity. But this acknowledgment of what we’re against can also go too far and slip into something equally bad. 

The dark side of life, as I see it

We’ve all heard of pessimism before, I’m sure. And so this really won’t be anything groundbreaking to talk about. But I think it’s worth another look, because hardly ever do I hear people examining or considering where this pessimism may come from. 

   I used to think that I was more prone to pessimism than most people. After all, misery seemed to be my way of life. What I didn’t realize was that in many ways, I had simply gotten into the habit of focusing on the negative things, the things I was against and the things that were going wrong. 

   Many of us get into this habit of prioritizing the horrible things we see and hear about and think up in our heads. Because they produce really strong emotional reactions. We categorize them as urgent, and thus worthy of our time and attention. And I’m not saying they’re not. Problems are problems and we ought to do what we can to address and eliminate them. But they’re not always what’s most important, either. 

Productivity, a somewhat flawed premise

   We want to be worth something in this life, we want to have our presence in this world mean something and for many of us, that means getting things done. And in order to get things done, we need to be aware of the problems, right? 

   Sure, that’s true. Awareness is important if we’re going to be able to come up with honest solutions. But problems aren’t the only things to be aware of anyway, and at some point, this “awareness” becomes prioritization and obsession. You can be so obsessed with problems that you become ineffective at making any headway, because you simply cannot clear them all before taking another step forward. 

   And there are many people that make things and move forward in life not based on solving a problem, but rather creating based on something that they value and believe in. This can also be a very powerful means of productivity. Passion and love of what you do and make. 

But my suffering will be worth it…

    I don’t know how many times I’ve heard myself or somebody else fall into this self-sacrificing thinking trap. “But if I figure out something to solve this problem or change people’s minds, my suffering will be worth it in the end.” 

   And here’s the issue with that: most of the realizations you’ll have about solutions to suffering will not come from the suffering itself. So it really doesn’t follow to manufacture more suffering in order to gain deeper “understanding” of a problem. And to be honest you really don’t have to have a personal experience of pain to realize that something is a problem either. 

   Don’t sacrifice your emotional health in the name of this mistaken idea. You realize it’s a problem. Move forward. Nourish yourself with solutions. 

Nourishing mindset

   What do I mean by nourishing? Well, that’s a lovely thing. And it’s what I was wanting to get to for this entire post. 

    Something beautiful happens when you take a look at the world around you in a different way. If you start looking for solutions and opportunities instead of problems, you actually become more effective. But it’s not just that. You become happier and more at peace. The whole world sort of brightens up, in a way. Your emotional center is much more chill and life becomes a lot easier for you, emotionally speaking. 

The practice of being for something

   Like everything else, this perspective is really just a practice. But there are better ways to get started on it than others. 

   First, self awareness is good. Start to notice when you’re making yourself more available and spending more time and energy on the negativity. When you’re getting swept up in some stranger’s wrong opinion on the internet or stressing over something you can’t control. When you’re thinking more about all of the problems in the world instead of what you love and enjoy and what change you can affect. 

   As you start to notice this stuff, start saying no. Like I said, there’s no problem acknowledging disliking certain things. But you’re going to have to be the barometer for when it gets to be past useful. And keep yourself accountable for these things. Start saying “no, this is not worth my energy” and moving on. 

Looking for the nourishment

   The other end of this is about tuning in. Being on the lookout, not necessarily for things that are “good”, but things that evoke creativity and passion in you. 

   It’s about learning to care about things in a new way. Learning to engage with life in a new way. Prioritizing that positive passion instead of that sort of frantic energy of “how can I do damage control?”

   Look for things you’re good at. Things you enjoy. Things that you could really sink your teeth into and make waves. These are the kinds of things that deserve your time and effort. And by extension, these are the kind of things that you want to build your life on. 

   When you build your life and time this way, it’s really satisfying. You see yourself being productive and effect and you get to be proud of yourself for growing and leaving a legacy (hear more about legacy here). But you also get to avoid all the drama and nihilism that most people fight in order to feel effective. 

Like I said, a practice

   It’s true, this isn’t a set it and forget it kind of philosophy. It takes resolve and focus to continually move your attention from the very loud problems of the world and dig into your own sphere of personal influence. But if I may be frank with you, it’s all any of us can do. 

   We gone our skills the best we can, continually. We build new lessons on top of older ones. And from this process, we create. It’s for this reason that we can learn to get better with time and make any sort of difference in this world. 

   And I realize, some days it doesn’t seem like it’s enough. But those are the days in which you need this understanding the most. To move toward the solutions the best you can with what you have and what you’re creating. And then, you can build a synergy on top of it with others’ ideas and efforts and truly make something bigger than yourself. 

   I want to thank you for simply existing in this world as a person who wants to do better. I truly believe that with that sort of heart and mind, you are meant for greatness. Thank you for reading my thoughts today—I hope they were able to help you somewhat. And if you’re interested in more conversations about personal development, philosophy and being well, consider subscribing to the blog to get email updates when a new post goes live. I truly appreciate every single one of you readers.