Over the years we’ve talked about being a good person, being honest, and making and keeping our personal boundaries. And I suppose this conversation is an offshoot of that—nothing groundbreaking. But I still want to talk about it, because I’m starting to realize more and more just how important it really is.
We all have promises we make to ourselves. Things we say when we’re feeling bad, to comfort and convince ourselves that we’re really not as off track as we seem. And the great thing is, we’re not! That’s true.
All we need to be on the right track or path is to be moving in the right direction—no matter how slowly. So believe me when I say this: you are only ever one small decision away from the right track. But that’s the the about being only one small decision away—you have to get there. Yourself.
Personal responsibility
That’s the thing about the right track. No matter how simple it is to get on, nobody else can do it for you.
Once you’re on it, there’s a lot that people can do to help you forward with your journey, whatever it may be. Because you’re ready for it. But you have to get your mindset straight first. Learn to be teachable. Learn to be willing to change and put in effort while habits are first forming. And the way you do that is putting one foot in front of the other, putting faith in the process, and putting in that primary bit of effort towards your goals. This perspective can also be called being a student of life. If you want to learn more about it, you can read this post.
Our inner monologues
So let’s get back to these personal promises. The fact is, most people know what it is we need to do to move towards our own goals and dreams. We think “Oh I should be doing this.” Or “I’ll get to that tomorrow” or “when I have time I’ll get this done.”
I can very much relate to this impulse, whether you have a busy schedule or are just procrastinating. Believe me, I’ve been there. The problem with this attitude though, is that every minute you put off doing what you know you should be doing, is another 60 seconds of momentum you lose on the right track. And you don’t think that sounds like a lot in the moment, but remember, your life is built of insignificant moments all stacked on top of each other. If you don’t make use of them, that’s all they’ll ever be.
Don’t freak out
Now, I’m not telling you this to get you panicked, although at first blush it may seem like it. No, the truth is, fulfillment is a lot easier than we try to make it out to be, at least that’s what I’ve found.
When you realize that all you can do in any given moment is get on and stay on the right track, all of that worry about things being “enough” starts to dissipate. Not only is getting on the right track enough, it is literally everything in life. And you know just how to do it. All of those little things that nah at you internally all day? If you make a habit of getting them done, you’ll be fulfilled. You really can trust in that.
The carrot and the stick
There really are negative repercussions though, to ignoring your internal cues about what you ought to be pursuing. They manifest a little differently in everyone, but we can see evidence of it all over the planet.
People are resentful, jaded. They don’t like or respect themselves. They feel that life is pointless. They think that their existence on this planet has been a big waste of time, unless they can find some god to push it off on, and even then, they’re mad at that god because they think that life should have handed them something more spectacular by now.
You may be tempted to think that these are the people who tried and failed, but the more I observe, the more I’m seeing that it’s the ones who spent their days waiting for life to come to them. It doesn’t work like that. Not when it comes to fulfillment, at least.
The nature of life
You may have heard the saying “life’s what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” And that’s true. There is an unpredictable nature to it all. Who’s to say what today will bring. But leaving everything up to fate does little for your mental and emotional state.
The fact is, you control your internal world. And while the external world may do whatever it wants, you’ll only be able to find fulfillment by going after the things that you already know you should. This is all about being on the right track. Because if life keeps tearing you away from your purpose but you keep prioritizing it and making slow progress, the fulfillment will come. You’ll be proud of how you’re handling things, even if not the outcome.
It’s not about the outcome
And this is where fulfillment comes from. From being on the right track. From making little bits of progress here and there. From keeping those promises to yourself that you can’t help but make.
You’ll learn to like yourself, trust yourself, respect yourself. And it’s true too, this lifestyle will breed more accomplishments overall, so you will have tangible stuff to look around at and remind yourself of your personal success. But it won’t be the stuff that you’d obsess about if you didn’t have this sort of mindset. It’ll be the intangibles. The victories that you know how much effort you put in to be there. The memories that you made along the way.
And I know it sounds silly to those looking for the next big thing or how to be a billionaire once and for all or what have you. But a billion dollars won’t bring you fulfillment if you don’t already have it. And sure, huge achievements will be exciting if you manage to make them somehow by ignoring who you are and your own personal path in life. But that glows wears off really quick when you know that that’s not your calling.
Building trust in yourself
So what I’m saying is, you really need to learn how to build up your relationship with yourself. If you tell yourself you’re going to do something, be sure to get it done. You’ll breed self respect instead of contempt. And when you have self respect, the life you cultivate will be one that you enjoy.
It all starts with the little things. If you’re having a nice night in that you’re looking forward to, say no to last minute plans. If you told yourself you’re going to start waking up early, roll out of bed instead of hitting that snooze—even if it seems hard in the moment. The pride you’ll feel in yourself will bring you into your next idea with confidence, and in time, competence too. And that, my dear, is how you live a life worth living.
