Hello everyone, and as always, welcome back to the Thoughts that Bind! As you know, we’re long into “swimsuit season” here in the northern hemisphere, and I feel like that warrants a short discussion that’s overdue. So here we go.
Do you have a summer body?
I remember it starting up again a couple months ago. There were ads and conversations coming back into vogue, all about the idea of losing weight and getting ready for the warm summer months ahead. (This time, with an added jab about “quarantine pounds”.)
The spring can be a very frustrating time for me, for this very reason. It seems that all year long, I’m fine. My body is fine. We go about our day, it tells me when it needs something, I give it that thing, and in turn, does what I need it to (more or less, most of the time). And once the chill starts to leave the air, all of a sudden there’s a buzz around me. And I know I’m not the only one who hears it.
There’s this anxiety that we feel in the sunny days. In anticipation for the beautiful warm weather, we contemplate once again what it means to us to be showing more skin than we otherwise would. And I think it’s this reminder that tends to make me kind of sad. Because there’s so much that goes along with it.
Showing some skin
I loathe the idea that wearing less clothing is supposed to mean something. I mean, regardless of what you’re wearing, you’re the same person inside, right? And yet, the reality is that when people are given access to something, they will form opinions about it, even if not asked.
But this can get super messy, as our opinions and values collide. And sometimes, it even inspires fear in us. Fear of being judged, bullied, or worse in some cases. The fear is valid, but it breaks my heart when it’s internalized. So let’s start with this point. Your outfit does not make you worth less as a person.
Body positivity
I don’t fully consider myself an “advocate of body positivity”, because that term seems to come with a lot of baggage that I don’t think applies to my perspective 100%. But this judgement that you should be uncomfortable and instead wear clothes that impede your wellbeing because of your weight or gender or scars (or whatever) and how those things are perceived by onlookers, well that just makes me sick to my stomach.
You deserve to be comfortable. You deserve clothes that fit and suit you. As long as you’re within the legal clothing guidelines, it really doesn’t matter if other people “don’t like it”. Their preferences don’t get to eclipse your right to exist.
Preparing your body
But this is all low-hanging fruit that exists all year ‘round. See, the extra dose of toxicity when it comes to a summer body is the ideology behind preparing your body for summer. Like, we expect that your body as it is, isn’t good enough. That’s a toxic baseline. But then to heap on top of it a whole rigamarole, in order to clean it up for the peripheral viewing of others? Awful.
Listen, you don’t need to tone up out of obligation to others’ preferences, just to be worthy of love, attention and affection. (Or basic human respect, for that matter.) And the idea that spring is the time to prepare for it really just forces these terrible motivations on you. They cause emotional harm, and don’t create lasting change.
And also, you didn’t “fail” if you had other priorities back in March-May. Life happens, and it’s about a lot more than just your appearance.
Getting fit
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to increase your fitness and get healthier. And it’s okay to want to lose weight, if that would make you healthier. The idea of improving yourself (or desiring to do so in the first place) is not problematic. But feeling coerced and shamed into it, is.
If you want to get fit and toned, do it for you. Don’t do it to prepare for “bikini season” and don’t do it for other people’s eyes. Do it because you love yourself, because you want to feel better in your body physically, because you want to be able to have more energy or be stronger.
And do it on your own timeline. Don’t start a gym membership on New Year’s day or in march with a countdown to your beach bum. Do it when you can make it fit into your life, when you’ve decided this is what you want. Do it when you know that it would be in your best interest, regardless of the time of year or week.
A true beach body
I’ve heard it said that if your body is on the beach, then it’s a beach body. And I like that, although it’s a bit cliche. I think what I would say is that maybe a true beach body is really more about the beach brain. If you’re able to go and have fun, soak up the sun and listen to the water, enjoy a nice picnic with the warm breeze caressing your damp hair, then you’ve got the right idea.
No, a beach body is all about how much you can enjoy your day in the water and on the shore. Stretch marks or scars, sunburn or cellulite, this is the place where none of it has to matter. You didn’t come to the beach to be a body. You came to the beach to be a soul. To watch your friends and loved ones splash around and smile and make sand castles. If your brain is stuck on how your body looks during all of this, then you’re missing it. So consider that next time you’re pinching your stomach in front of your springtime mirror.
Thanks for reading! Today’s piece was a bit of a rant, which is unusual for this site, but I felt it needed to be addressed. If you’re interested in more mindfulness and mental mastery content, go ahead and subscribe to the blog for email updates on new content. And remember to keep living life as it comes!
