Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Thoughts that Bind. Today, I want to talk about a concept that’s really simple in theory, but trips a lot of us up from time to time. Or, well, to take ownership, trips me up often. And so, without further ado, let’s get to chatting.
When we’re interested in personal mastery and growth, it can seem like there’s so much to fix about ourselves that we don’t even really know where to begin. We dream all these grandiose dreams and hope and plan and goal-set until we’re blue in the face. And there’s a certain amount of power and excitement that comes from this stage of personal change. I won’t pretend otherwise. We feel like the world is ours and our lives are finally in our hands. And they are. They really are. But change doesn’t come from dreams.
It probably won’t be glamorous
So I’ve addressed this sort of thing in my post, “It probably won’t be glamorous”, which you can find here, if you’re interested. (It talks about this concept from a little bit different of an angle. More from the perspective of freedom from addictions and big transformations, but you’ll find that there’s a main thread.)
Nothing gets done just from knowing what to do. You have to put your head down and actually do the work, when it comes right down to it. And while that applies to big transformations and overcoming addictions, it also applies to little things. Like building new habits on top of each other, in order to mold who you want to be.
For example
So, we obviously understand this concept and know it deep down in our being. Yet we don’t follow it. Think about it. I’ve talked to so many people about meditation, and many of them are pretty positive towards the idea. They say, “I should do that.” or “I wish I could do that.” But really, they can. You don’t need anything to start a meditation practice, it’s literally just you and your brain–the two things you cannot possibly lose. And yet so many people don’t do it, even though they say they should or want to. Why?
Well, to have the peace that comes with a meditation practice, you need a meditation practice. And a meditation practice consists of meditating, frequently and consistently. Which consists of putting aside time to sit in silence and let yourself do absolutely nothing. Even just setting aside time to do so is tough for many. And then, when it comes to actually meditating, people get bored, antsy, and uncomfortable. They keep thinking their thoughts and things won’t quiet down, because they’re not good at it yet. Well, then they think “oh I can’t do this. It’s doesn’t work for me.” When really, what happened is they just didn’t give themselves enough practice to get good.
Things to remember
“If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” This quote has gotten me through a lot over time. Because the fact is, you’re not going to be good at your new habit right away. That’s no reason to throw in the towel. If your goal is to do something well, you have to keep going with it, right on through the bad. Maybe it’d be better stated like this, “If something is worth doing well, it’s worth doing badly first.”
And if you really get stuck in an emotional tizzy over feeling stupid for not being skillful yet, you can always pull out my other common saying. “You’re not bad, you’re just pre-good.” That always puts a goofy smile on my face to hear. And it’s really true. We think of people who are just talented, and from the first time they pick up an idea, they’re a prodigy. But the truth is, even prodigies need practice to get skillful. So focus on getting skillful at something instead of simply being good at it, and you’ll be surprised at how much more progress you can make.
It’s not an ego trip, it just sucks
Okay, so not everything is about how embarrassed you feel about being bad at something. I get that. Sometimes putting in the practice just kinda…sucks. And that’s valid. It’s inconvenient to put time and effort into something. Especially when you’re tired. Or busy. Or just plain sick of working on something. And honestly, it is a balance.
There are going to be some days when you just need a break or you’ll get burnt out. Or, life will get in the way of your dreams and goals and they’ll get deferred. It happens. They key is to be resilient. Sure, take your break if you absolutely need to. But get right back into it as soon as you can. A loss of momentum can be tragic when working on something important to you. Not to mention the fact that if you’re looking for them, there’s always going to be excuses for why now is not a good time to try to be something more. Don’t let your life become one big excuse, or else you’ll never feel the pride of overcoming.
So I guess, all this is to say, I hear you. You’ve got big ideas, you’re tired. That’s okay. I understand it. But you need to sit down (or stand up) and do your work. And sooner, rather than later.
Thanks for reading this short conversation on the The Thoughts that Bind! If you like what you heard, you might find some value in my other posts on mental mastery (you can find a full list here). And consider subscribing to the blog for weekly updates of new content. We’d love to see you around!
