You know, I’m not a really loud and wild person. Back when I was younger, my life dream was to be able to live a quiet life at home with a partner I really loved. Cooking and cleaning, watching movies together, sometimes venturing out for the odd art museum or two. And in fact, I got that dream. But after having lived it for a few years, I’ve realized that my idea for this kind of life wasn’t a complete picture. Let me explain.
We have dreams for all kinds of reasons. And for me, this sort of vision I had for a quiet life really meshed with who I am as a person. I like the simple pleasures–little things that might go unnoticed by other people. And when it comes to big, loud celebrations or trips or lots of excitement and planning, well, I can easily get overwhelmed. So, this idea for a small, peaceful life seemed like a perfect fit for me. And after all, it’s okay to not want big things. Especially if you’re being honest with yourself.
What’s the problem?
If you’re with me so far, you might wonder, “okay, well if that works for you, then why is this an issue? Why are we even talking about this if you got what you wanted?” And that’s a good question. The problem is not with my desire or anything that I did to achieve it. It comes up when it’s time for maintenance of the life I already have and love.
You see, at some point, this wanting for a small, simple life has gotten in the way. I so badly want things to be simple and peaceful that I find myself campaigning against change and evolution. And if there’s one thing we know on this site, it’s that you have to live life as it comes. In all my passion to continue living my dream, I’ve been excluding anything new and wonderful from it. Out of fear. Out of worry. What I’ve found is, that’s something you don’t want to do.
Mindfulness
So when we talk about mindfulness, it’s all about living in the moment. Which is something you can’t do if you’re constantly minding the gate about which turns of life you’re going to allow in. No, mindfulness takes a certain level of acceptance. And it’s something that I’ve been struggling with lately. Worrying about my next steps completely keeps me from enjoying a perfectly sunny morning. And it’s so funny, because when I’m too anxious to live in the moment, I’m usually not anxious about the moment itself.
The more I think about it, the more I’m starting to believe that mindfulness is just the constant application of trusting that each moment in life will build upon the last, like it continues to do whether we believe it or not. I’m not saying you don’t have power or you shouldn’t take action. But I am saying that holding on too tightly isn’t the way to getting what you want–or being able to enjoy it once you’re there. You’ve got to be able to let go a little bit.
I’ve got to be able to let go a little bit. Even if I’m uncertain.
Letting your life in
You know, I’m not a big believer in destiny. As in, the idea that you’re bound to end up somewhere/doing something/with someone when it’s all said and done. And I’m also not super sold on the idea of a life purpose, at least conventionally. (I don’t think there is anything that is predesignated as your path.) But I do believe in life, and the fact that as long as you’re willing to go with it, things will happen. Changes will come up, you’ll grow, there will be opportunities presented to you. And all of this will happen, seemingly by chance. (Who’s to say one way or another?) And if you’re not actively trying to keep your head buried in the sand, then you’re going to get the gift of having new experiences.
I’m not going to lie, life’s never going to be perfect. There are going to be stressors and challenges. But those are going to come, regardless. It’s the fun and excitement that you have to learn to open up to. The fresh scent of opportunity and change. And so I guess when it comes down to it, the issue is the same whether we’re talking about tradition or refusing to eschew mindfulness. At some point, you’re not letting your own life in.
Learning slowly
I think I’ve been skirting this issue for much of my life. Because as I look back, I can definitely see the pattern. When I’ve been excited and chose to let in the new and fresh possibilities, I was the happiest and most at peace. And when I refused to trust in life to bring me the new, I was in despair. And if you’re in a more negative or critical space right now, you might be questioning my assessment of cause and effect. I don’t blame you. Because when it comes down to it, we’re all justified in our reasons to try to close off to the world around us.
Life can hurt, a lot. Nobody’s trying to tell you otherwise. But I will say this. It wasn’t until I was able to open myself to the fact that it could also bring me a lot of beauty that I was able to want to participate in it. And sometimes, when I’m not paying attention, I can find it easy to slip back into that distrust.
There is a certain flow to life, when you’re happy to be in it. Of living in the moment, and yet knowing that it will pass. Sometimes we get too stuck in one or the other, but the fact is that these teachings work together beautifully to keep us flowing along with time, with events, and with life. Whether your moment is happy or sad, scary or enraging, there is power here. Look around–it’s miraculous that we’re alive, and able to communicate with each other over the internet. It’s miraculous that we can communicate at all. And not only can we communicate but we can learn, grow and create.
Then to add onto it, knowing that this moment will fade into all the others makes it all the more worthy. Because right here, right now. It’s all that we get. And once it’s gone, it’s gone. There’s a certain beauty to that, of being able to move forward with your life, if you can grasp it. Some of us may not be ready to move forward yet, and that’s okay. Because there’s grace there–each moment moldable to our will. So when we’re ready, we can choose that.
Letting in “the goodies”
There is a teacher, called Louise Hay. If you’re reading this, you can find her teachings online quite easily. She frequently talked about letting in “the goodies” in life. And sometimes she would talk about it in terms of manifesting and that sort of thing, but what I really respect and try to onboard about her ideas is the mechanics of letting in all the good things that life has to offer. She would explain it something like this.
You have to know that there’s really a lot of good things out there. There is no shortage to what life would be willing to give to you if you are open to receiving it. And you have to know that you are worthy. Oh, you are so, so worthy of every happiness and pleasure life has to offer. And both of these things can be processes to try to overcome. They often go hand in hand, but not always. You may find that you have more trouble with one piece than the other.
Either way, once you have both of these ideas down pat and you know them in your soul, it’s really a matter of opening up. Life will come to you–your life will meet you if you’re willing to meet up with it. And this is where we start our conversation about inspired action. (Which you can find the post about here, if you haven’t read it already.) Because we all know that action that relies solely on motivation is misguided anyway. So get your mind right and act, side by side.
Back, full circle
I hope that these ideas have been helpful for you and your reflective purposes. Because as I said, this has made the difference for me my whole life, without me even directly realizing it. When I don’t trust life, it won’t bring me forward and I’m put in the worst places I could emotionally be. And when I do, I find greater contentment, peace, and joy. I’m able to look at things as opportunities and possibilities instead of challenges to be fearful of, and life seems that consistent little bit better. I seem that consistent little bit better. The weird thing is, life is nothing to be scared of, when you’re not scared of it.
And so what does this mean for me? Well, it means it’s time to relax. Keep putting in the work and trust myself to get better where I need to. Trust life to bring me the little pleasures in the new turn of events. And whatever I do, stay mindful. So that’s exactly what I plan to do.
Thanks for reading! Be sure to comment on this piece if you’ve got something to say, or subscribe to the blog if my words touched you. I come out with a new thought each week to help you put things in perspective and life your life as it comes. It’s time to start letting your life in!
