I don’t know how many times in my life I’ve been called weird. And depending on the context, I’ve taken it very differently. So I thought we’d discuss it and share perspective. Because sometimes, one simple word can cause lots of confusion.
Weird
Weird really just means unusual. If someone says something is weird, they’re just saying that’s not what they’re used to. When you think about it, the word really isn’t a compliment or an insult, just a neutral word that conveys a piece of information: the information that something is outside of a person’s regular scope of experience.
This means two things. 1) It’s down to the specific person’s opinion whether or not calling someone/something “weird” is a good thing. 2) It’s up to you to decide if you agree with them.
Sometimes it’s a compliment!
Although the first instinct to being called weird might be offense, someone saying it may not think of it that way. There are many people who go out into the world searching for the unusual. These people don’t just want to live the same old lives as everyone else, they want more beauty, more intrigue. They want something special. And when they find something weird, they find it cause to celebrate.
These people will call you weird with a friendly smile, or say something like, “you’re weird…in a good way”. And if you’ve found one of them, being weird is possibly one of the best compliments you could get! If you do meet one of these people and they find you interesting, you may have made a sort of instant friend. They are more likely to celebrate this unusual part of you, and in this way, you can be more yourself around them. And be nurtured for it.
When people are mean
There are definitely people out there who may call you weird, and mean it as an insult. (These people often won’t stop there. Instead, they’ll call you other things along with it, to drive their point home.) If this happens to you, it’s okay. Remember, all that really means is that you are outside their normal scope of experiences. You don’t know what kind of life they’ve lived. It could be a boring life, or a sad and unhealthy one. Or in general, it might just be a kind of life that you don’t want to live. And is there really any shame for being unusual to these kind of people? Would you really want to be within their regular scope of experience?
If you find yourself clinging to the idea of normalcy, then I suggest you read this post. In it, I discuss our natural urge to fit in and be accepted, as well as the downside to attempting to be “normal”. But if you just want the penny’s worth, consider this. Normal isn’t necessarily something you want to be. It’s up to you to decide what’s going to be normal for you and your life.
So, what’s your take?
There are going to be times when there is no subtext implied, and someone just says that you or something you enjoy is “weird”. Especially when this is the case (but also in general, this is a useful skill), it’s important to check in with yourself. This thing that’s so unusual, is it something that you want to be, do, have, or experience? Because if so, then it being weird to some is okay. You’re allowed to go after the life you want. And I hope you do, because there are always going to be people who observe you living outside of their bubble of experience and look with apprehension or disdain. That shouldn’t keep you from living a beautiful and fulfilled life.
And if someone calls you weird, and that leads you into introspection during which you realize that you’re going into a direction that doesn’t jive with your values, that’s okay too. If you’re honest with yourself and you’re not prioritizing their opinion over your own needs and goals, then it’s okay to backpedal or calibrate the path you’re going down.
Sometimes when people hurt our feelings, it’s not about what they said, but rather, what we think about what they said. If you judge yourself for the way you’re being, it’s time to think it through. Are you being unkind to yourself? Or are you subconsciously realizing who you want to be, and then ignoring it? Because life’s too short for that stuff. Don’t let your own pride get in the way of you taking helpful perspective wherever you can find it. And please, whatever you do, don’t shut down your weirdness just to justify someone else’s broken opinion of you.
So, you’re weird. Is that good, or bad?
Beautifully put. I spent so many years on the outside and then discovered people who celebrated the weirdness, I like that, and I like to see quirks in people who could be considered normal, if there is such a thing. We are all crazy to someone after all.