“There is no past or future. Only the present moment truly exists.” “There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Everything is part of god.” “There is no ‘you’ or ‘me’. There is only one, separation doesn’t exist.” Have you ever heard any of these things? (Or maybe you believe them too.) I’m all for new ideas as well as new age philosophies, when they help. But sometimes, I’m not sure how much they help.
Okay, so I was watching a video on youtube recently made by some woman who was claiming to not be claiming to be a guru. (Confused yet? Don’t worry, it gets worse.) I say it like that because while she was saying that in one breath, in the other she was dictating what she thought to be an ultimate truth of the universe. In this case, she was saying that individuality is not real–just an experience. That there is no me or you, or us or other, that it is all just one.
This claim of oneness isn’t uncommon in the philosophical community, and I’m not even arguing against it. I can’t vouch for it being true or untrue, just like I’m not an all-knowing guru telling you truths about the universe. That being said, I have a point to all of this that I’d like you to consider. The point is as follows: how helpful are these ideas to your life?
There is no “you”
So let’s start with the idea at hand. There is no actual separate sense of identity. Everything is everything else, there is no “you” or “me”. And to further expand on that, what this one woman in particular was saying was that due to that there is no “you” to improve. (She also said that she wasn’t telling us to do or not do anything. Because if there is no you to improve, there’s nothing to improve or any way to do it. Also that free will is an illusion, that everything just “exists” and the idea of choice is simply that, an idea.)
If we dig into this idea, there are a lot of implications to it. Firstly, it means that your experience as you is not real. Or rather, that there is no you in your body. Which in turn means that any of your joy or pain or memories are also, in a way, not real. And I have a problem with this already. Assuming that pain is not real is a fast-track to emotional repression and lack of empathy for others. (And if you’ve spent a lot of time around here, you know I’m very much for the idea of people feeling and processing their emotions. You can find that discussion here if you’re interested.)
The next issue I take with this idea is the subsequent idea that if you are experiencing “pain” that there is nothing to be done or improved in order to get your life to a healthier, happier, more fulfilling place. I’m living proof that that’s untrue, at least on some level. And I think that’s the main issue I truly have with this idea. Some people may take this as liberating–there’s no self to fix, what a load off! But others, those who are truly in a dark place, I think they need hope. I know I certainly did. So maybe there’s no self to improve. But there definitely are things you can do to bring more light into your life.
There is no “bad”–everything is part of god
There’s another one that I take issue with, depending on the implementation of said idea. This concept that there is no good or bad. That everything is just the way that it should be, everything is part of god (or God’s plan or however you choose to phrase it). And in many ways, it’s an outgrowth of the last assertion. If you assume that everything “happens for a reason” or “just is” and “nothing can be actually bad”, you’re going to need to do a lot of explaining away for things that are truly awful. Tragedy, crime, trauma, genocide, etc. If your explanation always has to be, “well that’s not really bad” then not only are you going to put up walls between you and people who are really suffering, but if life ever hits you hard, you’re setting yourself up for some gnarly mental gymnastics.
And in general, it’s a fun thought exercise to think, “how can I make this pain work for my life instead of against it?” but to assert it as ultimate truth rather than a thought exercise is, in my opinion, limiting. Sometimes it’s not the place of a caring individual to explain away pain, but rather just listen, be present, and comfort if possible. Being beholden to the idea that bad doesn’t exist makes pain “incorrect” or “unnecessary”. And even if it is, asserting that’s so will put a damper on the human connection that you’d like to make.
The other downfall to this idea is that many will often take this as a message of fatefulness. “You can’t do anything about your life, because it’s all as it should be and going according to plan.” Well if that’s true, then isn’t trying to improve yourself going against the now, and thus, going against “how it’s supposed to be?” What a powerless message indeed. Now, I’m not saying that this is the thesis for this idea. Only that it is easily what some people are going to take from it. And that makes it worth examining.
There is only now
And to finish up the list of examples at the beginning of this post, this idea of extreme mindfulness. If you follow the idea that now is the only thing that exists, life can be incredible. It can also lose a lot of nuance though. I myself have gotten great comfort from implementing mindfulness into my life (you can take a look at my post about mindfulness here). And I often say that when you are more present, you are able to fully experience the beauty that comes at you every day. You make more vivid memories that way. Not only that, but it’s liberating to untether yourself from your past. Because it’s over. It doesn’t matter what happened. If you can move forward and be free of it now, you can build anything you want. But that’s just it, if you can move forward.
Only giving credence to the now is a lovely exercise, particularly for people who ruminate or worry too much. (Ruminate gives too much power to the past that’s already over, while worry gives too much power to a future that’s not set in stone.) But when it comes to examining the past, well that’s not worthless either. If you’re observing a pattern of behavior in a person that is abusive to you, I don’t think it’s worthwhile to demand someone to stay in the moment. To insist that “the past is over and no way of predicting the future”. If someone exhibits a pattern of toxicity, abuse, or destruction? It’s not “unwise” or “unspiritual” to observe it, to use it as a yardstick and implement change to your life.
Not to mention that a healthy dose of future preparation is worthwhile too. Panicking over something that may or may not happen is not healthy or helpful, that’s true. But taking care of your physical body so it works better in the future or saving up for retirement, those are good things if you have access to them.
Take it with a grain of salt
The fact is, it almost doesn’t matter what idea you choose. Even the best philosophy and wellness ideas will fall apart if you take them as the be-all and end-all. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the only universal thing in life is that nothing is universal. And I think we forget that sometimes. We’re looking to be extreme: extremely beautiful, extremely talented, extremely smart, extremely enlightened. And we think the way there must be extreme. But the truth is, extreme measures often yield unseemly results, particularly when it comes to your body and brain.
And when it comes to these ideas about personal growth. About wellness and philosophy, consider not just what the idea means, but what you’re taking from it. A seemingly harmless idea can really mess with your mental health if you’re implementing it in an unhealthy way from a bad perspective. (And yes, I do believe that there are “bad” perspectives, in the sense that they are unhelpful for your life as well as emotional health.)
If there’s an idea that really resonates with you but it’s ruining your life, consider re-writing what it means to you, or even dropping it altogether for a while. You can circle back to it later when your mindset is right for it, or you might realize that practice was not meant for you at all. It’s great to let your mind be a fertile ground for new ideas. Just be sure to take notice of what’s sprouting.
