There are so many things that you can do in order to improve your life, and sometimes it can get a little overwhelming. It’s easy to see where we fall short. We look at how far we are from our goals, and it becomes discouraging. That’s exactly the feeling you should be trying to avoid.
You’ll even see it on this website- all of my suggestions to you on how you can manage your mindset, your habits. To learn and grow and become who you’ve always wanted to be—the person you deserve to be. I have no shortage of ideas to help you improve, or for myself for that matter. And neither does society at large.
But no matter how many things there are that you could try, that you could do and get done, the fact remains that there are only so many things that you can manage to fit in your life. And if you don’t make a decision and prioritize, well, you get paralyzed. Then nothing gets done. I’ve written a post about the importance of prioritizing if you want to check it out. You can find it by clicking here. That being said, the idea of “prioritizing” is so broad. It’s hard to know exactly where to start.
Just pick one thing
Looking at yourself can be painful, especially when you find yourself in a slump. You can feel powerless, like there’s some invisible hand guiding you away from your dreams. But it’s times like these that you need your focus—your greatest asset. Focus on just one thing.
The one thing that you want to focus on will obviously be different for everyone. But what you’re looking for is something small, that you know you should be doing. Something that you know would help but you just have been letting it slip (either lately or always), and point all your efforts there for a while. Until you get back into the swing of things, until it becomes normal for you.
It might feel silly to focus on such a simple, specific aspect of your life so intently. And people might tell you that it is, if you share it with them. But pay that no mind. Focus on your one healthy thing until it’s no big deal for you and you just do it automatically. And once you’re there, then you can move on to another thing.
How much does that really help?
A lot of you might be skeptical of this advice. If you haven’t given it an honest go, I understand why you would be. And I’m not trying to bill this as a silver bullet for anything, because it isn’t. There isn’t one.
We get so used to having people make extraordinary suggestions of us coupled with extraordinary claims. And that gets really exciting, because we’re filled with hope that finally we can make dramatic change in our life. We’re thrilled with the possibility of who we could be, and so we take these things with good faith and give them an honest try. But honestly, we shouldn’t.
Sometimes we can quit bad habits old turkey. (And if that’s you, then I am sincerely proud and jealous of you at the same time.) But new, healthy habits take time to build, no matter how you look at it. And when it comes to real life changes, they’re made up of conglomerates of these little pivots—just a little bit each time, starting to look toward where you want to go. Expecting yourself to suddenly be a different person is useless. Instead, you need to allow yourself the space to get there. Patiently. Step by step.
Why can’t I just burst through?
This slow and dedicated approach to things may be good for people who are experiencing overwhelm at all the things they haven’t done, but it’s not easy for those who expect sudden transformations. You may be prone to wanting to just skip ahead and be there, not enjoying the in-between very much. This makes big sweeping gestures and ideas more appealing.
I hear you on this one. There are days when you just get so frustrated with yourself looking in the mirror and wonder how it is you got here and why you’re not out yet. Even so, trying to bite off more than you can chew just isn’t sustainable. How many of us do this in our daily life? Expecting our diet to start full force on Monday, or establishing a shiny New Year’s resolution (that if we’re honest with ourselves, is going to flop in a day or two at most). It’s a very human thing (as well as the reason I can’t let myself recommend making New Year’s resolutions in the conventional way–more on that here). But if you’re looking for real change, it isn’t something that you can afford.
When we make commitments to ourselves, so many of us think that it’s not a big deal. But in fact, I would venture to say it’s more important to keep your promises to yourself than others. Because you’re the one that’s going to have to live with you for the rest of your life. No matter what happens. As much as you may try to avoid your thoughts and your true flaws, you can’t truly escape them. You deserve to live your life as the best version of yourself, which is why it’s important to take your goals seriously.
Slow and steady wins the race
That’s where this approach to things comes in. When it comes to who you are and what’s important to you, a slow and steady approach will win every time if taken seriously. Think back to that race with the tortoise and the hare. That fast bunny got so arrogant that he underestimated the determination of his opponent. Well in real life, it’s more like the hare gets too tired and never finishes the race at all. (I guess he decides to go home and go to sleep or something.) You deserve better than that.
There’s a certain shame that we feel when we don’t make progress as quickly as we “should” (according to others or ourselves). We start to think there’s something wrong with us or that we’re a failure. Especially when we look around and see others climbing the ladder of success. But here’s the thing, you need to walk before you can run. You need to have something to build on. To get good before you can be good. That’s just the way the world works. And if you do something that isn’t sustainable in the long run, then you’ll never get there at all. How many people do we see just give up on what they want most because they simply get tired or bored? You don’t want that to become you.
It’s your turn
Today, I’m going to extend to you a challenge. Pick one thing to work on consistently that you’ve been letting go for too long. Just one thing. And go after that goal. Keep chipping away at it whenever you remember, set aside continual time for your goal. Just one thing to be a little healthier, a little wiser, a little more skilled. Don’t do it just this time, but do it tomorrow and next week and next month. Do it until it gets easy, and until you can keep doing it without a bunch of emotional upkeep. This is the real, honest, and unsensational way to get the life you’ve always wanted and become the person that you hoped you would be.
If you’re in need of a pep talk in sticking to the boring parts of self improvement, check out this piece I wrote, entitled “it probably won’t be glamorous”. And let us know in the comments below what your one small thing is today!
