There are many ways to go about living life. Between all sorts of philosophies and lifestyles, it’s really hard to make a black and white assessment of what’s “good” and “bad” in terms of how to be, how to spend your time, and what to work toward. But one thing stands above all the rest, in my opinion. And it’s not what you do, but it’s if you do it on purpose.
Life is really random, or at least seemingly so. You may have your own personal beliefs to explain away some events, but the fact is, good people sometimes have bad things happen to them. Bad people sometimes get lucky. And very much of it happens without it being someone’s fault.
Not only that, but there also is no end to things that seem to be contradictions and yet somehow coexist. People who care about you can make even fatal mistakes at your expense. Sometimes abusive people do kind things. And when there is no rhyme or reason to it all, it can leave us feeling discouraged, at minimum. Because what’s the point? (If you want to hear more about how to cope with life’s unpredictability, read this post.) And I’ve said that the way to deal with the unpredictability of life is to truly embrace what you do have, right here and right now. I still agree with that, but I think that there’s another side to the coin too, which is to simply try.
Keep trying
We could debate for a long time about what your actual ability and power is in regards to changing your life and the world around you (and I’ve discussed that topic before, which you can read by clicking here and here), but ultimately, it comes down to this: you ought to keep trying.
There’s a well known quote that I never reference right, but it goes something like, “If all you can do is crawl, then get crawling.” It feels silly to put a ton of effort into something only to do it badly. And to do it in front of others who might ridicule you for how deficient you are is downright embarrassing, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it anyway. What a shame it would be, if because you couldn’t do something perfect, you decided to instead do nothing.
When you put it like that, it seems obvious. But we forget that we do this manuver all the time in day to day life. “I don’t have time to clean the whole kitchen, so I guess it’ll just have to wait.” “I’m too tired to make a proper meal, so I’ll just go to bed.” “I’m too busy to meditate for an hour, I’ll try tomorrow.” We don’t tend to put these ideas into words in our heads, but these sentiments pour out into our actions chronically. And when it comes down to it, that’s how we end up living our lives.
Intentional living- how to start
But this concept very much intersects with the idea of intentional living, or “living your life on purpose”. And I don’t think it’s laziness so much as almost a personal anxiety towards ourselves and our current level of supposed capability, identity, and worthiness. Which, if you think about it, is very sad. You deserve to have your life be a little bit better today. You don’t have to have achieved perfect to deserve a better life, and every little win should be celebrated.
When you take a look at your life, what would you like to be different? I’m not asking you to be entirely boring and rational. Get a little bit unrealistic in the dream stage! But understand that you will never get where you’re looking to go without stumbling over it at first. That’s the nature of growth and learning. And it’s okay.
Then once you’ve decided where you want to direct your focus, you can start planning the smallest steps possible. Then once you think you’ve got it, make the steps smaller and keep making them smaller until they seem stupidly small. That’s your point of entry. It’s better to be able to laugh about how small you’ve made the steps than feel overwhelmed by the task you’ve set for yourself. Because largely, you probably do when it comes to these big changes.
Your personal fulfillment
The whole thing about intentional living is that ultimately, nobody can tell you what will make you happy and fulfilled and be able to look back on your life with pride and satisfaction. Except for maybe you. You’re the only one who can have a go at it. Everyone else will fail. And it is worth it, to have a vision for yourself and your life, held loosely of course. Because while it may take a very long time to achieve some of your goals, when you do, the feeling is unparalleled. Looking back over who you used to be and who you’ve become over time is the pinnacle of personal satisfaction, and something you can only connect with once you’re on the other side of it.
When it comes to intentional living, you need to take a rational look at your personal flaws and challenges. You need to be able to identify where you could stand to grow. And what challenges you think are worth having in daily life. And you need to acknowledge that sometimes it really is about just pushing yourself to do things that you don’t want to do in order to have or be what you ultimately want. (You can find the discussion about action when there’s no motivation here.) Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now. You want to develop a clear vision for who you want to become–one that you can truly believe in. (Read this piece on motivation vs inspiration if you’re interested in that.) And then do the work.
It’s not about having one true life purpose. It’s about how you deal with your daily life. How you interact with people, and what you work toward. You are moving in the direction you’re going, on purpose. Because you have more potential than you’d be willing to recognize on a bad self-esteem day. And also, you have more power than you’re probably aware of. Don’t let anyone tell you what your goals should be. Instead, take an honest look at your life and make them yourself. (You may want to take a look at this post where we talk about living life by your own rules, or this one about personal accountability.)
And remember, if you’re looking to improve yourself and your life, The Thoughts that Bind is here for you with all sorts of suggestions as well as ideas for helping you to achieve the things that you’ve set out to do. If you’ve got a question or a suggestion for the site to cover, send an email to thethoughtsthatbind@gmail.com. I promise I read every single one thoroughly and consider them in my content. Thanks for reading, commenting, and adding yourself to the email list if you’re interested in receiving more thought-provoking content! I can’t wait to see how much better this world becomes, because of you.
