Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Thoughts that Bind! There are a lot of us pondering the concept of being thankful right now, whether it’s due to location or life situation or shared global experiences, it’s a poignant topic. And I’m one of them as well, for many reasons. So we’re going to talk about it it today, because recently I learned something new.
It all started when I found one of those warm fuzzy signs (you know, the kind that you buy at Home Goods and set on your counter hoping that it’ll infuse its wisdom and good vibes throughout your home). It said, “Thankful and Grateful”. Immediately, I was baffled. “Thankful and grateful?” I asked aloud, “Aren’t those the same thing?” Well, as it turned out, they are not. I’ve been misled this entire time.
Gratefulness
So according to Michigan State University (because there are many perspectives on this), the definition of being grateful is when you are appreciating what you have. (You can check out Michigan State’s take on Gratitude vs. Thankfulness here.) You look around at your life and see the people and things in it, and you just really see that you are lucky. Your life is going better than you sometimes might give it credit for.
I’ve talked about gratitude on The Thoughts that Bind before. (You can find that post here.) As a practice, I find it to be incredibly important to maintain perspective, and transformative if you’re in the habit of being a pessimist. However, I do find it a limited practice, and not the be-all and end-all to a life well lived, for reasons I’ll let you read in that post, if you’re interested. But if you can be grateful for what you have, you’ll be happier, more fulfilled, and more at peace.
Thankfulness
Now being thankful is different, as I recently found out. Being thankful is being appreciative of what you’ve been given. Now, that may not seem like a big difference, but it’s big enough to be meaningful, and I’ll tell you why. You can be grateful for any old thing in your life. Being thankful though, it means you have to acknowledge that in life, not everything is just down to you. You may be lucky, talented, smart, and successful, but you didn’t get here all by yourself. Nobody did. And, as Michigan state likes to point out, “your words and actions show thankfulness.”
Whether we like to admit it or not, there is a level of interdependence in this world and society today. You and your actions are important. Very important. But you won’t get as far without some help from others. Others with different gifts, more experience, or even just simple kindnesses that they share.
Thanksgiving, the holiday
If you celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States, this changes the idea behind the holiday already. How many people go around saying what they’re “thankful” for but really, they’re grateful? Now, I don’t mean to call people out and tell people they’re wrong on what should be a nice holiday, that’s not the point of this. But the only way we learn is if we’re exposed to new ideas. And what’s more representative of U.S. history than people taking thankfulness for something that was given to them and then instead talking about gratitude, like it was all just there in the first place?
No, if we’re going to be true to what this holiday was and should have stayed, we ought to talk about this. Let Thanksgiving be a time to reflect on this idea: you didn’t get to where you are by yourself. You’ve been led by people who knew the way, encouraged by people who believed in you, inspired by someone’s story, and in some cases, carried on the shoulders of your predecessors. It’s time that we actually give thanks to these people and lend credence to the influence they have over us and the world.
I am thankful–and grateful
I’ve been doing a lot of observing lately, of the world around me, but also the world inside of me. And it’s funny the way both can seem so much different than they used to be, and yet in some ways, so much the same. It’s almost a paradox. But you know, that observation lends itself to perspective. And I have to say, I’m glad to have found it buried in there, because more than ever, I think I’ve needed it.
Finally, for the first time I can accurately say that I am both grateful and thankful. And I’ll tell you why. I am proud of myself–this year, and in general, for how far I’ve come on my own inner journey. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to make good decisions for the most part, and that I’ve been able to explore and discover new parts of myself that I didn’t know existed (even the less exciting ones). I’m grateful that I’ve been able to make it this far with my life still intact. And I’m grateful that no matter what happens, I can choose to make the best I can of it. (I’m still learning how to do that, and how to make my best better as time goes by.) I’m grateful for expression. For love, companionship, and adventure, and my ability to explore those ideas in my own life in order to build something new and make memories with the people that I care about most. But finally, I find myself feeling thankful too.
Thankfulness, a novel idea
When I first heard about the true definition of thankfulness, I was flooded with new feelings and understandings. This is only probably the second time in my life that I’ve registered this feeling (you can read the first time I’ve reflected on what I was appreciative of here), and because of that, I think I’ve got a backlog of thankfulness. Memories rush to me as I realize more and more that I have not been alone on this journey. I never just sat down and appreciated what others had given me. And that makes me a little bit sad, if I’m being honest.
But you can’t dwell on those things. You can’t blame yourself for not knowing what you’ve never been taught. So my lesson in all this is simple. Thankfulness exists. It’s what happens when you appreciate what you’ve been given, and believe me, people are giving you stuff. In the future, learn to appreciate it as it comes. Learn to recognize others for their contributions to you and thank them for it, because it will be better, for you and everyone else around you.
Thankful or grateful?
So what about you? In your life, have you been practicing gratefulness, thankfulness, or both? And what resonates with you more right now? If you’re interested in reading what I am finding myself thankful for, check out this post! Because this year, I’m thankful for a lot. And share this idea around, either in the form of this post or by word of mouth, because this society, this world, needs to remember what thankfulness really means.
