We’ve been tiptoeing around the subject long enough on this website. It’s time to finally talk about journaling! Is journaling worth it? Is it silly? And what can it do for you? Let’s go!
It feels weird to start one of these kind of posts about coping mechanisms without listing a definition and synopsis of what we’re talking about, but let’s get real. We all know what journaling is. So instead I want to start with what it can give you.
Benefits of journaling
At its core, the practice of journaling is a channel for understanding yourself and expressing yourself. In the same way that talking to a good friend can help you get an emotional release or make sense of a problem, journaling can bring you these things if done right. You get that same level of release and realization as those “I’ve never told anyone this before” moments.
Another great aspect of writing things down in a private space is that you can say whatever you need to get off your chest, without fear of being judged or making someone upset. In cases where you may not have a great support network, it’s hard to find someone to talk to. Journaling isn’t a substitute for having someone trustworthy to talk to, but it can be enough to get you through until you can find someone.
Also, a nice side effect of journaling is that you leave a record of your experiences to look back on. It’s nice, every once in a while, to look back through your old diaries and see how much you’ve grown or reminisce about your past. It can also be a good tool for dealing with toxic people who try to gaslight you. If you have a written log of a situation and how it made you feel, you will be more likely to stand your ground when they try to convince you you’re remembering something wrong.
Not to mention it’s just a good memory jogger in general. If you write something down, you’re more likely to remember it anyway. And if you don’t, there it is for you to refer back to. You want to remember some appointment you have next week or some food you want to try? Write it down! Either way, it’ll help you remember it.
Stigma of Journaling
Even with all of these benefits, there are a lot of people out there who feel silly about journaling, or even poke fun at people who do. And I’m not sure where these weird ideas about it came from, but they are so pervasive in society, that I thought they were worth discussing.
First, the idea that journaling is just for young women/girls, and that anyone who engages in this activity is by default girly and juvenile. It is true, writing in a near daily “diary” is very common in adolescents, particularly the ones on the feminine side, but that doesn’t make it “just for girls”. Writing things down is a great activity for anyone who wants to get something off their chest, understand life in a new way, or be able to look back on their experiences and growth later on.
But there’s another idea floating around too, that journaling, if not girly and juvenile, is just for “crazies”. A lot of people will look at you strangely if you admit that you have a lot of thoughts and feelings to sort out that you find the need to address alone. It’s a common perception that the only reason for this would be if you are mentally ill or emotionally unhinged, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them go away. (If you want to hear more about that, you can read this post about feeling your feelings instead of repressing them.) And many people who feel discomfort at the idea of dealing with their feelings end up acting out in ways that they are not proud of, and wouldn’t otherwise do if they had just acknowledged the issue in the first place. Believe me, you don’t want to go there. And journaling is a good way to avoid that.
If you’re concerned that people might make fun of you for trying out journaling, pick a private time and place to do it, and don’t leave your journal lying around for others to see. And don’t feel pressured to use an extravagant diary with a motivational phrase on the front (or whatever) if you don’t want to. A plain notebook will do the job just as well, and is cheaper too.
Daily journal
The idea of keeping a daily journal is the most common association with journaling out there, I think. But keeping a daily journal of your mundane experiences can be a lot of fun. Kind of like going home and telling your loved one about your day.
An interesting way to mix up a daily journal practice is by experimenting with the time of day you decide to write. Writing in the evening or before you go to sleep is a good way to reflect on your experiences and get all your thoughts and feelings out in order to have a more restful night of sleep. Alternatively, you can try a morning journaling session. In the morning, you have a fresh perspective and can shape your days in a more intentional way by focusing on what you want to bring to your life that day. It can work as a morning pep talk or manifestation session, if you will.
Feelings journal
When we think of journaling like a “diary”, this is what we tend to get. A journal for your personal feelings, fears, and insecurities. This is the most personal type of journal, and for many, the most fulfilling. In a feelings journal, you’ll write down your day to day life, too. The mishaps and conversations that stick out to you will become your fuel. But I would like to highlight one important aspect of this sort of journaling, in a sort of warning.
Writing down your feelings can go one of two ways–productive or unproductive. Obviously, what most of us want is productive feeling sessions, where we work through our hangups and insecurities and come out with a better idea of how to navigate life and the people we share it with. However, especially when you’re working through your feelings on your own, you may get caught in a sort of loop. When you let your emotions feed off each other and bring you more and more negative thoughts, you won’t find solutions to your problems or compassion for another person’s perspective. Or even new ideas for how to not get into such a negative spiral in the first place. Now, some of us are more prone to this than others. However, I would still advise anyone to be cautious of this possibility when handling their feelings, in a journal or otherwise.
If you’re trying to avoid your negative loop, stop repeating yourself. If you notice that you’re saying the same point over again or mentioning the same negative feeling in a new creative way, stop and try to calm down. Venting is helpful, to a point, but you don’t want to continually rehash and stew about your problems. Once you’ve said all there is to say, take a break. Take a walk, some deep breaths, eat a snack, watch some comedy–just something that helps you relax. And once you’ve calmed down a little, see if you can connect with a more rational and less emotional perspective, and start writing down the new ideas you’re having.
Also when you keep a feelings journal, try to make a point of writing the joyful parts of your life in there too. It’s just as helpful for you to write down and think about the good things. And if you ever look back on this journal, you’ll be glad you did. Not only that, but attempting to keep this balance keeps you from subliminally training yourself that this journal is a place to bring all (and only) your negativity. You don’t want to pull out your journal and instantly go to a negative place out of habit.
Abstract journaling
Now, if you’re looking for a more creative option, I’d suggest you get into abstract journaling. The number one rule in abstract journaling is that there are no rules. In fact, at first blush you might want to actively try to make it not cohesive. Use different fonts, ignore the lines, put in crazy doodles, write backwards, really make it strange and disjointed. As you get more comfortable with not having to follow a certain structure, you’ll fall into a comfortable expressive range that both helps you understand yourself better but also helps you generate new, creative ideas.
This sort of journal is really fun and odd. It helps you not take yourself too seriously. It also gives you a more unique and creative perspective on life and “structure” in general. If you have a hard time breaking out of your shell or doing things your own way in daily life, this journal is just the creative, safe place you need to explore and become yourself. It’s also a great respite from the daily reality of mundane schedules and routines. A place where you can be silly and weird and creative and just…tragically human.
Organizational journal
Then we come to organization, the opposite of an abstract journal. An organizational journal is a good go-to when it comes to “getting your life on track”, so to speak. In an organizational journal, you’ll write down little details that you don’t want to forget during the day. You can also keep track of your progress in your personal goals. This is a good place to make a game plan. For how you want your days to go, things you’re working on, and habits you’re trying to implement.
Another way to use an organizational journal is to treat it like a planner or agenda. Get your appointments down on paper. Plan out what you’re going to do this next week, or what you’re going to be cooking for dinners. Write out to-do lists with boxes to check off when you’ve done the task. If you’re looking to get your life together, an organizational journal will help you have everything in one place. This way you won’t go scrambling for the information you need to get stuff done. And knowing where to find all this stuff really does make it easier to be productive!
One use journal
This next type of journaling has a lot of options within it. However, I’ve grouped them all together because the technique is consistent. But basically my point is that you can make a dedicated journal to anything important in your life. There are a lot of personal journeys that you can go on–some voluntary and some not. While you’re working on yourself and this new life subject matter, you may choose to have a journal dedicated to that specific aspect of yourself and your life.
Some examples include dream journals, language learning journals, fitness logs, spiritual or prayer journals, illness/recovery journals, gratitude journals, or travel journals. These are personal encyclopedias of information and experiences about one topic. They help you grow along your journey and organize your thoughts. Perhaps down the line, even share your experiences with someone else who is interested in this particular lifestyle or journey. Having a dedicated place to document and reflect on your personal journey can really help you grow and progress it in a deeper way than if you had a willy-nilly approach. It also helps you integrate this aspect of your life into your psyche in an easier way.
Shared Journal
One more fun journaling style to share is having a shared journal with one or more people. This is obviously quite different from the others. All the other journals that I’ve mentioned have been a solo activity. But there’s something really lovely about sharing one journal with a loved one.
In a shared journal, you don’t have to keep one topic or organizational style either. Whatever is best for you and whoever you’re sharing it with works just fine. A shared journal is an outlet for you to create a bond outside of what you would normally be able to do in your daily life. You can write your random happenings, or have full on important and intimate conversations in this journal.
The special part about this sort of journal is that it lets you keep and build strong bonds with someone. Even if you are separated by distance or ill-fitting schedules. You can have long conversations and catch up when it is convenient for you. And they can do the same on their time. Just pass the journal back and forth between you regularly. Let each other read what the other one is thinking about. This also helps for people who have a harder time talking about emotional subjects. This is because you can take your time to word it carefully. And if things get too emotional, you can take a break (instead of saying something too rash when you feel upset and rushed).
Go journal!
I think you should give journaling a shot. If you love feeling elegant and fancy, you could buy a fancy journal to start you off. One with decorated covers, a ribbon bookmark and pages lined with gold color.
But like I said, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy if you don’t want it to. A simple notebook would do just as well for those who aren’t looking for anything flashy. (And a five subject notebook is big enough to spill all your secrets, plan out your life and track your progress. Along with anything else you might want to put in it.)
You see, the benefits of journaling come from what you put into it, not how beautiful the outside looks. And the utility and versatility of your journal maybe be just as big an asset for you as the aesthetic is for somebody else. And that’s what I love about it–our journals are as different as we all are. That’s what makes them wonderful.
Not every kind of journaling is for everyone. But there is definitely a kind of journaling that would help you. In fact, probably multiple kinds of journaling. Some of them are better done as activities, and others as habits. If you’re more comfortable with a journaling activity than a habit, I suggest you try some letter writing activities. I’ve outlined quite a few already, so check out this post to get you started. And let yourself get into the world of journaling, no matter who you are. You’ll find a beautiful tool to help you understand yourself better, de-stress, get your life together, improve your memory, and live more intentionally. So get writing!
