We talk about a lot of different concepts here in the Thoughts that Bind. Concepts that change and save lives. And each of these concepts are very near and dear to my heart, many with swaths of context surrounding them. But it’s that very context that can make things confusing. Because how are you supposed to know what fits your life?
And even within the bounds of this site, I’ve written sort of conflicting posts that seem to even contradict each other! The only way for these ideas to coexist is with context.
It’s not just about the ideas that I put forth either though. Whenever you decide to implement a new habit, perspective, or action into your life, you need to figure out what it means to you, and if it fits into who you are and how you’re looking to live your life. (If you’re stuck on that right now, check out this previous post about discernment.) When it comes to deciding about these new steps though, I have a little useful trick that seems to work wonders.
It’s just for today
You can do almost anything for a short time. At least, that’s what they say. And I’ve found that to be true, in a way. When I start building a new habit or working towards a goal, I take this approach, “I’m just going to do this for today”. That’s all I have to be concerned with, at this moment. Or sometimes, “this time”. (Depending on what you’re trying to do or what works.)
Once the day is over (or whatever you’ve decided the official chunk of time to be), you can check back in with yourself. Is your goal still worth it? You’ll likely have more confidence in yourself after putting your desires into action, and each time your confidence in yourself (and the ease of the action itself) will grow, making the habit cement and become who you are.
Why it works
I think this works on two levels. First, we have a tendency to put off the things that seem difficult or unpleasant until later, because who wants to subject themselves to that? But if you catch yourself, and don’t give yourself a “later” in your time-frame, procrastination really has no room.
And second, when we look at big goals, like recovery from an addiction, learning a skill or improving ourselves, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and discouraged at the big picture. We feel like our goal is so far away, and we have so much effort to put in until we get there. We scold ourselves for not having done it already, or if we tried, for not getting further than we did. This sort of thinking is a trap, and the only way out of it is to break your large goal into smaller steps, and then break those steps into even smaller steps, until they feel manageable—no, easy. And then remain short-sighted for a while.
I’m not saying never look at the big picture. But it can help to just put your head down and grind out your work, at least until you can see some progress to be encouraged by. That’s what the “only for today” strategy affords you.
The downfall
It’s true though, thinking about things as, “just for today” isn’t the be-all end-all. You need to look at the big picture when you come up with a goal or plan. Not only that, but many people consider themselves to be “big-picture people”. They need to be able to look at things as a whole to stay inspired and motivated. So by all means, do look at things as a whole when it is helpful for you to do so.
The other thing to be weary of with this strategy is that it requires a frequent re-evaluation of your goals. Which, of you ask me, is a positive thing. It means that you can be very intentional about the path you’re taking in life. However, you’re going to need the facts and feelings to back up your decision, and you’re going to need them on lock. Otherwise, when you check back in with yourself after putting yourself through an exercise in willpower, you might fall prey to the “I’m tired so I think I’ll just give up” cliché. And I don’t want that for you.
Something to try if you feel prone to this response is to push your check-in with yourself back a little, until you’re able to catch your breath from your last trial. For me, this is why I usually go for a day-by-day trial period, instead of moment-by-moment, or temptation-by-temptation. It has allowed me to relax and think about my decisions rationally as I gather my resolve. But do what works for you!
There is leeway within this approach, and a balance necessary. Looking at the big picture is great, when you need inspiration. But sometimes, it’s okay to put your head down and just trudge on through. So let yourself navigate that balance, and harness it in order to achieve your goals.
