There was a song that we used to sing when I was a little girl, that was accompanied with a hand game or dance or whatever you want to call it. It started like this, “I went to a Chinese restaurant, to buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread, the lady asked what my name was, and this is what I said, said, said” and then it goes on with a long string of nonsense that if I never hear again, it’ll be too soon. But I was thinking about it today. And I don’t know about Chinese restaurants in your area, but in mine, I’ve never seen them selling loaves of bread.
Why would you go to a Chinese place to ask for bread? I mean, I’m probably missing the point, it very possibly could have been alluding to stupid prank calls and ding-dong-ditch games that kids tend to do. (I usually missed the point when it came to those things.) But ignoring the actual song as a jumping off point, a lot of us do that with our day to day lives. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Can I take your order?
Why would we order something where it’s not being served? I mean, if you want a loaf of bread, you’d be better off going to the grocery store than a Chinese restaurant. To be fair, menus are different than real life. In real life, we don’t always know what’s being offered by an opportunity, or a person. That’s a fair assessment. But I think that sometimes, we do know. And we just don’t want to believe it.
We would all be better off if we looked for friendship with friendly people, romance with those who were emotionally available, and instead of begging disrespectful people to respect us, we just understood who they are at their core and went somewhere else with our beautiful displays of vulnerability. Somewhere they will be safe and appreciated. But a lot of us just stay and get mad at the Chinese restaurant for not having bread. Why do we do that?
Our “Good Reasons”
Maybe we think that if we complain enough, we can turn a Chinese restaurant into a bakery. Or at least get them to buy a loaf of bread for us. But that’s not on them, to change their business for us. And whether it’s people’s nature, their boundaries, or their current capabilities, it is their “business”. You’re not going to change the rules of an establishment just because you feel like it.
I guess my point is, if you know that someone isn’t going to offer you what you’re looking for, don’t try to change them. It won’t work out well for either of you. Just go to the grocery store and buy some bread.
