Not being Christian myself, it may seem odd for me to make a post like this. And I agree, it is odd. That being said, I had a conversation with someone a little while back that gave me some perspective. Or rather, reinforced the perspective that I already had but framed it in a new way.
And even more so, it may surprise you if you remember my last post about religion that was called “wounds from religion”. A good read, if you’re interested. The point I made in that piece was that there are just some pieces of religion that do more harm than good, and specifically, from my religious background in my childhood.
This is going to be a more positive piece though. Because as most things in life, the impact of religion isn’t all good or all bad. I do feel like my upbringing as a Christian taught me certain lessons that I am grateful for. So this is that list, those memories, that piece that tells all of you religious people, “don’t worry. I know it’s not all bad.”
What’s popular isn’t always right
Christians have a very specific outlook on the world, that they want to be in this world but not be of it. And in many ways, during my younger years, this influenced a very healthy opinion that I didn’t need to fit in with my peers.
I was encouraged by my religion and those around me who followed it (such as my parents and other authority figures) that as a Christian I was meant to be different than the people around me. Instead of taking that way out into extremes or too lightly, somehow I managed to settle on a middle ground of sorts: that I would be different sometimes. That it was important to embrace the parts of me that were different, because those things were from God.
How you treat others matters
In the Bible, it says that which you do unto the least of these, you do unto the Lord. And again, at a very young age I took that to heart. People who don’t have the blessings you have are just as much human as you are. And maybe you can’t always help them. But you can respect them. And if you treat them with basic human respect, that is an important part of being a “good person”.
I don’t think that as individuals, we automatically owe each other anything. But I think that trying to be kind and compassionate is a good general goal, whether you will ultimately find the gates of heaven or not.
Don’t be jealous
A very baseline doctrine in Christianity is that what’s yours is yours, and you shouldn’t be jealous or “covet” what belongs to other people. And for the most part, I believe this is a good idea. If you’re not jealous you probably won’t try to steal things from others and there will be less resentment between you and your peers. Wonderful. We want things to run more smoothly.
I do think there is a limit to this rule. Sometimes what is disguised as jealousy is actually veiled ambition. So for this reason if we are feeling jealous, I don’t think it’s worth immediately stomping out and repressing. Instead consider exploring it and understanding what’s behind all this. (Although I feel this way about pretty much all feelings, including the very intense ones. You can find out more about this by reading this post that I put out a while back.)
However, this basic lesson of “don’t be jealous of others” was a good thing to learn at a young age. And I’m glad that it was taught to me, whether in the form of religion or not. It saved me a lot of heartache over the years, and taught me that resenting someone for what they have isn’t worth my time.
Keep going
This next one is not part of the official beliefs of Christianity. It’s more like a benefit that I got out of it, while I believed in it. Although I started having struggles with depression very young in life, I was given a reason to keep moving forward.
This idea that an all-intelligent supreme being had given me this life and that everything was going according to plan gave me this idea that my sense of life being overwhelming was more or less undeserved. That it could be ignored because “God wanted this for me, loved me, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could handle it.”
While now I disagree with that idea, I definitely benefitted from it for a long time. It kept me floating (badly, but floating) for years. We all need something that convinces us to keep on going. Even if it’s a “rational argument”.
You’re not alone
Feeling uncertain and small is a very human emotion. The stories of the prophets show that- Job, specifically but many of the prophets had to go through a lot in order to live and share what they thought was right. It wasn’t an easy path. And having these stories of people going through horrendous things but still making it out the other side gave me something to look up to when I was struggling. They gave me strength to draw from when I didn’t think I had any left.
And it’s not just stories. A lot of people benefit from the community that their church is able to provide. They make friends, have a place to be a couple times a week, and can find mentors and increase their social and business networks. These churches can truly help you be less alone, tangibly.
My assessment
For all of the reservations I have about religion and the applications I was shown of it in my early years, I can see there are benefits as well, and I see why people keep going back year after year. Religion, or even just having something to believe in bigger than yourself is something very comforting to be able to fall back on when it feels like your life is crashing down, even without the specific “God” part.
There were also things that religion gave me, outside of lessons. It gave me a sense of belonging to a place outside of my home. It gave me the impression that I could let go of my life a little bit, because it was all God’s plan. It gave me comfort when I worried maybe I wasn’t a good person or living a good life, because there was a definite measuring stick and set of rules. In these cases, religion made life easier. It was a source of reassuring that was scarce for me otherwise. While I think there are other sources of these things in this world, I don’t know where I would have gotten them had it not been for Christianity. And for that, I’m grateful.
Religion and you
So whether you’re religious or not, I hear you. It’s been a ride for me personally, and I have a hunch it will continue to be. People’s spiritual beliefs are so personal, as in, specific to them, as a person. I hope you find the place where you feel most empowered and free spiritually.
And if someone tries to tell you what your spiritual journey should look like, just understand that it is your own. You don’t have to believe a word they say if you don’t want. As with anything, you have the right to take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. And these are the things that I’ve taken from Christianity. My other post, wounds from religion, are the things that I’m trying to leave behind.
If you’re religious, I hope that you’re using your religion to help you become a better person. Wiser. Kinder. More loving. Because that’s what I think religious spaces can give us at their best. If your religion is only helping you submit to ideology, fear and hate, then it’s not helping you or anyone else. I would advise you to seek out a new strain of it at the very least.
