Today, we’ve got a new kind of letter for you to write. To read about writing a letter to your past self, you can click here. To read my letter to my past self, click here. And to find my general introduction to this idea of letter writing, you can click here. Now this one is a doozy.
I ask you today, to think back to your first love, and write a letter. Because love is beautiful, and love teaches us lessons about ourselves.
Go back
The first person that you fell in love with, how did you meet? How old were you? What was your first impression of them? Did you like them from the very beginning or did it take a little time? How long did it take for you to develop feelings for them, and was it reciprocated? When did you realize that you were in love with them?
Try to really put yourself in that head space, of seeing that person in their beauty for the first time, and let it progress. Watch your relationship with them, the big important parts, and the little wonderful things that may seem insignificant to anyone else, but not you. Watch the ups and downs, and finally, (assuming you’re not still with this person), watch the end too. For what it was, not what you wish it could have been. See your mistakes, and theirs, your pain if there was any. Just watch it all.
Get to it
And now, write. If you could, what would you want to say to them right now? What did they teach you? Are you thankful to them, for showing you the beauty of love? What do you wish you had done better or differently?
They’ve been moving on and living their life too. What would you like them to know about you these days? What do you hope they got from the experience? What are you sorry for or still in awe of to this day? Do you think that somewhere, deep inside, a part of you will always love a part of them? And if you could live it all again, but change nothing, would you do that?
What will you get from this?
I think writing a letter like this can be extremely therapeutic, especially if you haven’t done a lot of reflection on the subject. It can help you feel like somebody’s listening to you. Someone who was there, and knows what happened. Someone who cared about you, at least at some point.
Exploring the topic of your first love in this way can help you understand yourself better. Some of your patterns in relationships may become more apparent, and you might be able to figure out where they came from, and if they’re still relevant to your life right now. This exercise will also help you realize your attitudes about love, romance, and connection. You’ll be able to see things through a more focused lens, and if you’re able to look at that very first blush of love, you’ll be able to find the origins for a lot of things, some not even romantic in nature. Because everyone has something to teach you.
Do you send this letter?
Now, I hear you. Writing a letter of this nature to someone who may or may not be a big part of your life anymore seems like a bit much in some cases. I don’t want you to get too caught up in the sending or not sending of the letter until after you’ve written it and been as honest and raw as you can though, because that’s where realizations come in.
However, after you’ve written it, it’s time to decide whether or not you send this, if you have the option to. Obviously, life sometimes sweeps people away, and you can’t find an address for somebody. But for the people you can, it’s worth consideration.
Don’t send this letter if:
-It’s angry and blaming them for your unhappiness
-You still have feelings for them and it could get messy
-It might put them in an awkward situation with a current partner
-You expect a reconciliation (or even a response)
Do send this letter if
-It has some good wisdom in it that should be shared
-You are thanking them for what they taught you
-You need to apologize for what you did
-It would make their day to get this letter
Obviously some letters will check things from both do’s and don’ts. But I would say to err on the side of caution, so as not to put anyone in a bad situation. That being said though, what a beautiful idea it would be to get a letter in the mail, thanking you for a beautiful lesson on love? Acknowledging how important you were in someone’s life? If you could give that gift to someone it would be so beautiful.
Love is beautiful
Now whether you do send or even write this letter, I ask you to take some time to think about love today. Love, in all its various forms, is so beautiful. It’s something that we share, for no reason other than the fact that it’s there, and it’s wonderful. There is so much love in this world if we take the time to look for it. Think about it today, all the love that you’ve given and gotten over the years. Express the love that you feel when you feel it. And thank this beautiful life for giving you that experience. Cherish it, and make it grow.
Thank you everyone. I know many of you reading this have offered me love throughout my life, and I have personally loved many of you too. Thank you for reading this, loving me, and loving in general. You make this world a better place.
