So recently, I wrote a post about writing letters. You can find it here, if you haven’t read it yet. But essentially, I covered the beautiful release that it can bring to you, as well as new perspectives on old events, and also that sending a letter can really make someone’s day, and help encourage them way beyond what you might imagine. I also vowed to bring some ideas for letter-writing to my dear readers, so that even those of you struggling for ideas will have access to this beautiful practice, at least to get the ball rolling. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, here is your first idea: write a letter to your past self.
Reflecting
We’re starting off with an extremely personal idea. Write a letter to the old you. Everyone has struggled in their life, trying to face adversity or make a hard decision or live on after a loss. When you’re in the thick of it, all you can do is keep going. But after things have calmed down a little bit, you’re able to be more introspective. You can learn from your challenges, your fears, your experiences, and how you chose to respond or react to them.
Looking back on who you used to be during or before these sorts of things can be kind of an eerie experience. But I’m sure there are things you’ve learned since then. Why not take a look at that, and tell your old self how you will be changing in the future? Tell yourself who you will become, and if you’re happy about it, or you wish you had gone a different direction.
Encouraging
Another thing you can do with a letter to your past self is try to emotionally interact with them. Tell them all the things you wish someone would have said to you when you were dealing with that. Actually write the words: “You’re not broken.” “You are enough.” “It’s okay to cry.” “I know you’re scared, but stand up for yourself.”
When we write these things to ourselves, we give ourselves permission to step more fully into the lessons we’ve learned, perhaps factually, but haven’t embodied yet. We’re able to connect the pain of struggling with the gold mine of wisdom that we’ve accumulated, and it beckons the call to authenticity to sound right in our faces. We all need that in our life.
My Own letter
I’ve written a letter to my younger self many times, and in fact, I’ve posted one of them on this site already, which you can find here. I think it’s one of the reasons I wanted to start this series with this idea for a letter. Because you have an example to look at already.
Now, you can see, in my letter, I referenced things that only I specifically would understand. I told myself about how I’ve grown, and gave myself advice. I answered some questions that were killing me back then, and I also gave myself encouragement, because that’s what I really needed at the time. I used my real picture too, from around the time I was looking back on, which can be a helpful trick if you’d like to use it. It can help you get in that headspace easier, especially if you took the picture or remember it being taken.
Your letter to yourself may take on a different sort of feeling. Maybe you really have a beef with your past self because you were making a terrible mistake and you know better now. That’s also valid. You can tell your past self anything you want or need. But I would like you to remember, that this letter is for you. Not anyone else. Let yourself (and your past self), be authentically and unequivocally you. Correct yourself. Embrace yourself. But do not dampen yourself, or you will find this exercise to not be as emotionally significant.
How to do it
In order to frame this letter properly, I would suggest trying to get your surroundings right. Find a quiet place where you probably won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably and take some deep breaths to get yourself in a calm state of mind. Once you feel content, comfortable, and anchored into who you are and where you’re at right now, allow your thoughts to go back, to some of the most important times of your life. Maybe you’ll latch onto a milestone, or a small memory, or maybe just a feeling or an age. Whatever seems most relevant for you, let yourself be swept away for a moment. Who were you back then? What were your values? What was your life like? What did you believe to be true about yourself, about others, and about the world?
And once this memory is incredibly vivid in your field of awareness, come back to the present moment, to you, to your life right now. See your world with new eyes, remembering where you were at, and then set your pen (or pencil, whatever you like writing with) to paper. Talk to that person you once were, and tell them everything. Everything you finally understand, that you needed desperately to know back then. Give them the benefit of what you know and can do now. Even if it seems silly. Nobody else has to read this letter. Just you. But the point is, you want it to be rough. You want to be honest. If you’re a crier and you haven’t cried by the end of writing this, you didn’t do it right. Because you are amazing. You’ve overcome a lot, if you can be honest with yourself. Let yourself see your victory, over life, and your own bad habits and complications. Acknowledge your epic journey.
I wish you the very best of luck on this internal journey, and I can’t recommend this exercise enough. Whether you need to reframe your stories about the past, get in touch with a sense of self love over shame, or even just look back on how you’ve grown, I promise you, the power and the answers are within you. Let me know how your letter went, in the comments below, or to talk to me privately, email me at thethoughtsthatbind@gmail.com. I love you guys! Now get writing!
