We have all of these messages bombarding is, telling us to be ourselves. But what if ourselves aren’t something that we’re proud of? What if we’re trying to make a change in who we are?
Well, change comes with time. And I’ve never been much of a fan of the “acting as if” principle. (You can read more about that here.) I know it works for some, but I think it squanders something very vague and delicate.
Who is yourself anyway?
There’s a philosophical perspective that we have little way of truly identifying ourselves. We are not our body. We are not our thoughts. We are not our memories. The closest that we can get to what we are is to say that we are a process. Our cells renew themselves in relatively the same way through time, and our thoughts and feelings do relatively the same thing. You are a process.
Now if that process changes, so do you. Even the slightest bit. But you’re still you. And to some extent, you have control over the process of replication when it comes to your mind. This is how we manage personal development and growth. So you are the same person, but in another way, you’re not.
As we change
It’s an interesting perspective that as we change who we are, there are many tiny changes in succession of one another. And so as you’re trying to change, you are becoming a slightly different person in each moment. That’s how changing is done- you can’t rush it.
I think it’s important to fully embody who we are at any given moment. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we give in to every whim and preference, but if we let ourselves be who and what we are, then we have an easier time figuring out where we’re at in relation to where we are going.
I guess what I mean is, you won’t be able to change if you don’t know what’s wrong. And there are some lessons you only learn through experience. So if you hide who you truly are and where you’re at, you won’t learn some of these lessons that would help you move forward.
Reminiscing
We say that hindsight is 20-20. And I don’t really think that’s true. But hindsight does tend to offer a perspective that we didn’t always have, and you can’t fake that.
The thing is, sometimes we get so cautious, trying to project what future us will think of what we’re doing now. (Think about the whole “if it isn’t worth it in five years, then it isn’t worth it” idea.) I’m not against the idea of avoiding obvious mistakes, but you can’t always know what is going to be a mistake. And if you don’t really know, then you have a choice. Do you avoid it because it might not work out? Or do you try, because it’s something you might really appreciate?
I’ve made some “mistakes” in my life that a lot of people might really feel bad about. But I don’t regret them, because I did my best to make sure I wasn’t hurting anyone, and acted genuinely from my perspective. That doesn’t mean that I’m proud of these things or would do them today if given the same chance, but I’m able to accept them as parts of my past with little discomfort, and I don’t regret who I used to be, even I find it a little cringey.
I hope for you that you can fully embrace who you are in each moment, and come from a genuine place. If you’re making sure you’re not hurting anyone, making these genuine mistakes but truly living is much more fulfilling than living in analysis paralysis.
