As some of you might know, I recently had a birthday. Now, I had a good birthday. I spent it with people who made me smile and we did vaguely celebratory things but this year just felt…different.
I noticed that I passed by most of the milestone birthdays of young people and now I’m pretty much just an adult, and there’s nothing I could do about it. It made me a little bit sad and at the same time anxious.
Birthday melancholy
We only get so much time, and even more so, only so much time to be young. I wanted to give my youth some sort of last hurrah or something. I spent a lot of my young days worrying instead of having fun and enjoying being young. I wanted to find a way to honor them somehow.
And this getting older business is no piece of cake either. The older you get, the more people expect you to know what you’re doing with yourself and your life, in a way. I don’t feel like I necessarily live up to my age.
These were the thoughts that were tripping me up. And while I’m really not that old yet, I figure they’ll only intensify with each year that goes by, if I let them.
Thought checking
But here’s the deal. First, age is only a number. There’s no set timeline to do things by, and the people who say there is are just making things up. We need to decide what is best for us in our lives right now, and what we’re going to give our focus to.
And the other thing is that you can complain all you want about getting older and the inconveniences it brings. It does. You get weaker, and more tired and your face and body don’t look like they used to. And all of a sudden you’re supposed to be “wise” (whatever that means).
But when you really think about it though, age is a gift. This new year that you’ve reached is a gift. Sort of a retroactive gift, in that you only see what you’ve been given after you’ve lived it. But a gift all the same.
Reframing
Even if not all of the days were good, even if most of them were bad, some people didn’t even get to today. Take a second to think about all the people you’ve left behind, and realize that all the people you’re with today you will also someday leave behind.
Today is a gift. And should I be so lucky to be given enough time to let my body and mind deteriorate, I think I should consider it an honor, at least conceptually. To have seen and shared so many moments with you all on this beautiful planet. So thanks you for this year we’ve spent together, guys! Thank you for all of the times you’ve shown me that there are still good people out there, and for committing to yourself and this life for a whole ‘nother year! And goodbye, last year. We will never have to live you again.
