Why hello, and welcome back to the Thoughts that Bind. Now last time, we covered our tagline, “In pursuit of a better life”. If you haven’t read that post yet, I suggest that you do, because this one will be based on that.
Now, I think we’ve gotten some good mileage out of that old tagline. It’s descriptive, playful, and to the point. And it’s been something that I can really relate to and stand behind. That being said, I find myself and my life moving in a new direction. Well, nuanced, but different. And by extension, I’ve noticed the site following suit.
What’s wrong with the old tagline? I liked it!
I came up with “In pursuit of a better life” while in a good place, but coming from a worse one. And there was something about the concept that really inspired me at the time.
That being said, it’s started to make less and less sense in accordance to my life and the content that I’ve been making lately. I guess you could say that you can only pursue a better life for so long before it’s time to start living it. I feel this shift very strongly in me, and have for a while.
Okay, you’re changing. But why does the tagline have to change too?
I want all of my readers to be cognizant of this shift in me and in my material, and to represent it more accurately to those who are just seeing the site for the first time.
Even more than that, I want to encourage this shift in all of you, wherever possible. There’s something so freeing about being able to look at your awful past and realize, “you know what? That’s not me anymore. I’m not still in that situation. And yeah, I can move on now and build something great for myself despite all that.”
There’s something so mournful about the self-improvement journey, and I think it’s reflective of how we view ourselves. Like when people tell depressed people that they shouldn’t be sad because others have it worse, I think we also tell ourselves that we can’t be happy until we have it better.
The balance of happiness and transformation
I’m not saying that there aren’t reasons to be sad or disheartened. There certainly are, and if that’s what you’re feeling I don’t believe you should attempt to repress that. But I think equally important to operating life from a genuine place is allowing yourself to be happy, hopeful or relieved.
And if you’re in this place where you are mostly out of the woods and it feels like your struggles are getting further away, embrace it! You may still be hurt from the past or have things that you’re trying to improve, and that’s perfectly valid. But you can still be happy with yourself while you continue to do the work.
I remember I had a therapist once who I had been seeing for a few years. She knew me very well and was extremely kind, wise and knowledgeable. She told me something, which in the moment I pretty much brushed off, but am reflecting on lately like she planted a seed that bloomed.
She told me that there will never be a time where I’m all the way there, no more work to do, just this bright gleaming light. She was all for introspection, but she wanted me to recognize that there had to be an end to this continual rumination and searching as if I wasn’t enough.
As I said, I didn’t think much of it when she told me that. I didn’t have the tools back then to embrace the present moment because I was in so much pain and didn’t really have a base to build off of at the time. What I didn’t realize was that I was slowly building the tools that I would need to someday, come to the same conclusion.
Embracing the now
Some days, some moments, life just hurts. There’s no getting around that. Bad things happen to good people, and good people do bad things. There’s no point in trying to separate ourselves from this fact. To do so would be burying your head in the sand, and die suffocating waiting for the right time to come out.
I’ve learned that if I don’t practice the skills of being present indiscriminately even during the bad (especially during the bad), then I won’t have the tools to fully experience the good either, when it comes my way. And I’ve made my decision. I want to fully experience those joys. They are not worth losing, even at the expense of being present with my pain.
A word about struggle
When embracing the present moment, you will sometimes be prone to the intense unpleasantness that sometimes is our feelings. And it may seem more intense if you just let yourself sit with it, refusing to act out or distract yourself with something else. Especially if this is a new practice for you, it may be extremely difficult. You may want to give up.
But there’s a little carrot on the end of the stick, if you will. You see, not only are you building the ability to experience the positives of life more fully, you are also working through your emotional wounds at a far quicker rate than you otherwise would. This means that the thing that’s hurting you right now won’t hurt for as long. You’ll be free of it sooner.
This intense presence and surrender to the present is a transformational tool that fosters wisdom, wellbeing, and resilience. Over time, you’ll gain more momentum and see the results coming quicker. It will likely become a point of pride for you too, as it has become for me. My life is a happier place, and I am a happier person. But my life is a happier place because I am a happier person. I’ve made my mind a better place to live in, and made myself a better person to live with, by extension. Developing mindfulness, a connection to your inner body and mind, and to the present moment, can give you these things too.
What will our new tagline be?
So, if you’ve stuck with me the whole time through these two posts, you’re probably thinking, “Come on, just tell us what the new tagline is already!” And so I will.
The answer is a solid, “I’m not sure yet”. I haven’t decided. I want something that really conveys the path from sadness and hopelessness through transformation and into a sort of acceptance. I want it to highlight the loveliness that is in the simplicity of living in the moment, and being fully present with your life. And I haven’t come up with one that does that.
This is where you all come in. If you have an idea for the new tagline, let me know. You can put it in the comments below this post, email it to me at thethoughtsthatbind@gmail.com or send it to me over on my Twitter @thoughtsbind. Winner gets their tagline put on my website, and a special post on a topic of their choosing! I will give you all two weeks from the day this is posted to get your ideas to me, and then I will go through the submissions and contact the winner! Thank you so much for reading all this time and giving me so much amazing support. I love you guys!
