So, you’ve been in therapy for a while now. It was rocky at first, but you found someone you clicked with and decided on a treatment plan.
You’ve been working that plan for a while, and things are starting to change for you. You’re seeing results, and you think you might be better now.
So what do you do? You’re beginning to think you don’t need therapy anymore, and you could really use the hour a week for some other activity that you enjoy.
Well, today we’re going to talk about that. How do we know if it’s time to end therapy?
Think about why you started
Usually, people come to therapy with a goal in mind. Perhaps they want to overcome a specific fear, be counseled as they are going through a life change, or they want to work through a horrendous past memory.
Think back to your original goal. Has it been fulfilled? Has the time where that is useful passed? And now that you’ve seen results from your therapy, is there anything else in your life that could use that same touch?
What skills have you learned?
Maybe you had less of a concrete goal in mind going into therapy. You just realized you were responding to life stressors in an unhealthy way and wanted to fix that.
In this case, it is useful to think about what skills you have learned to deal with your day to day life.
It may take a while to actually pinpoint what you have learned, but think about how you and your therapist went about addressing your frustrations. What perspectives have you learned, what coping skills have you acquired?
The key here is to pinpoint what has worked, at least some of the time, to help you feel more capable of tackling day-to-day stress. Do not focus on what hasn’t worked. That gets you nowhere.
What are your therapist’s goals for you?
Another thing to consider is what your therapist thinks. Some people may be hesitant to take this approach, due to lack of trust in therapists in general.
After all, they make money off of coaching you through problems. Why would they tell you to just stop coming?
This approach hinges on you trusting your therapist. That being said, most therapists go into the profession to help people, not for the money.
At any rate, you can ask them where they feel you stand. What do they think you could still stand to learn, and how far do they think you’ve come since you started?
Can you manage on your own?
A practical question to consider is if you can really handle things on your own.
Realistically speaking, you started therapy because you needed help. You weren’t managing life so well by yourself. Have you learned how to do that?
Everyone deals with challenges, and it isn’t about being a superstar. But if you haven’t learned how to manage your daily life without hurting yourself or others, or having a mental breakdown, then you should stay in therapy.
Do you have the finances to keep going?
This is kind of a downer, but it’s important to keep your finances in mind. Depending on what kind of insurance you have, therapy can be pretty expensive.
Do you have enough money to live on and go to therapy at the same time? And if you’re one of the penny pinching types who can stretch any budget, can you go to therapy without skimping on your grocery budget?
I bring this up because while therapy is important for well-being, so is proper nutrition. If you’re going to therapy, but all you can afford to eat is bread sandwiches and instant ramen, you still won’t feel good.
If your stressors are at a low right now, can you handle them at their worst?
This is similar to asking the question if you can make it in your own, but it’s more of an extension on it.
We humans are really good at pattern-recognition. This helped us survive in the past. But these days, it can cause faulty thinking. We see patterns where there are none and use the present to predict an unpredictable future.
Just because your stress is at a low now, doesn’t mean that you’re out of the woods yet. Analyze your stressors to see if they are a long term issue or a short term situation.
If they were a short term problem, you are good to go. But if it’s long term, you have some more thinking to do.
Remember what it was like back when these issues were at the surface, and try to determine if you could handle that on your own now. If you know you could handle them at their worst, then you can cease therapy without worry.
Do you need a different kind of therapy?
If you want to quit therapy because you haven’t had results, consider trying a different kind.
Some people are skeptics, and won’t put in the work that therapy takes, because they don’t believe it will work in the first place. If this is you, try giving it the good old college try anyway. You might be impressed.
If you are not a skeptic of therapy, and you find your sessions not helping, then you may need to switch things up.
Some approaches just work better for certain individuals than others. Sometimes you need to find the right therapist to open up to. My point is, don’t just assume your therapy isn’t working because therapy isn’t for you.
Are you in a big life transition?
Then finally, consider if you are in a changing time in your life. This one is simple to identify and an easy decision. If you’re going through a lot of life changes, consider putting off the end of therapy.
Unstable times in our lives can be very difficult. Having a therapist during these times can help you navigate life.
Moreover, it’s important not to take out a support system you have in place, right as you are dealing with extreme stress.
I think it’s time to stop therapy, but I’m scared
If you’ve been in therapy for a while, it can be quite nerve-wracking to decide to end it. You worry that maybe you’re making the wrong decision, or your therapist will be disappointed.
I’m here to tell you, don’t worry. It’s a big step, but if the time is right, you can do it. Your therapist will not be angry, because when you start therapy it is a actually a goal of treatment to finish it! (And worst case scenario, if they do become angry with you, you don’t have to see them again once you’re done.)
Am I making a big mistake?
So at this point, you may be scared. Even though you’ve thought it through, you wonder if you’re wrong. What if you can’t actually manage on your own?
This fear is valid. You’ve seen your life before therapy, which can conflate in your mind with your life without therapy. But remember, this life that you would be moving into is life after therapy, not life without it.
You still hold the lessons, coping skills and perspectives from therapy within you, and you have the power to employ them in your daily life on your own!
Another thing to remember, if you really find yourself breaking down and unable to cope, you can start therapy again. It’s not as if there’s a rule once you leave therapy you’re doomed to a life devoid of support.
Are you in therapy right now questioning if you should finish? Let us know in the comments below. And remember to have faith in yourself that you will make the right decision.
